Twilight! 2
Missed the beginning? Start here!
TWILIGHT
CHAPTER TWO
NEXT DAY: I’m better and worse all at once! I’m so talented.
ERIC: HI AGAIN.
BELLA: Ew, nerds.
THE DAY: I’m so hard.
BELLA: Edward isn’t here. :*( This is the worst part of my day EVER, despite the fact he’s shown nothing towards me but contempt and disgust! My life is OVER.
MIKE: I dare to be friendly!
BELLA: Oh we’re going to have to put an end to that shit.
*later*
BELLA: Okay, I’m going to be a stereotypical daughter of a single father and do all the food stuff. I am going to the store.
SHINY NEW VOLVO: *sparkle*
BELLA: Oh crap, rich kids. OH WAIT IT’S THE PRETTY PEOPLE YAY. That seems weird that pretty people have money but I guess that’s normal. But no that must mean they want to be alone.
LOGIC: Wait, what?
*later*
BELLA: *checks her e-mail*
BELLA’S MOM: NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC.
BELLA: Geez, calm down, freak.
CHARLIE: Hi!
BELLA: Eat food, if you even know what that is, plebe.
CHARLIE: How’s school?
BELLA: I’m totally in love with Edward.
CHARLIE: GRRR I LOVE THAT FAMILY. You should see the doctor, I hear he’s a dreamboat.
BELLA: Is he as hot as Edward?
*later*
EDWARD: *is not at school all week*
BELLA: Maybe I need new shampoo...
*later*
SNOW: Hi!
BELLA: Ew that means it’s cold. And you’re not unique like you’re supposed to be, you look like the end of a Q-tip, every last one of you.
READERS: ...What?
STUDENTS: Ha ha, we love throwing snowballs because we know how to have fun!
BELLA: Dude screw that. You all suck, I’m going inside.
LUNCH TABLE: *has five pretty people*
BELLA: OH GOD I’M GOING TO BE SICK.
JESSICA AND MIKE: What the hell...?
PRETTY PEOPLE: *laugh laugh laugh just like a movie*
READERS: ... What?
JESSICA: Are you staring at pretty people?
BELLA: Who wouldn’t?
JESSICA: Edward is totally scamming on you, girl.
BELLA: OMG :O Don’t look at him or I’ll kill you.
JESSICA: Tee hee!
*later, in class or something*
EDWARD: Hi Bella, I speak to you.
BELLA: !!! You know my name! The real one, not my birth name.
EDWARD: Oh. I think I may have just accidentally hinted that I’ve been stalking you... you know, that or you’re so unique and special that the whole school is talking about you and this is in no way a reflection of what Stephanie Meyer wished high school was like.
BELLA: What?
EDWARD: What? Nothing. What?
CLASS: *starts*
EDWARD: I smile crooked.
BELLA: YOU’RE PRETTY, I WANT YOUR BABIES.
SCIENCE: Apparently I’m sexy, I was not aware.
PORNO MUSIC: *plays as BELLA and EDWARD look in each other’s microscopes... if you know what I mean*
EDWARD: I look frustrated for no reason!
BELLA: Your eyes changed color. Trust me, I’ve memorized everything about you.
EDWARD: Don’t be stupid.
SCIENCE TEACHER: You’re so cool, Isabella.
EDWARD: IT’S BELLA, YOU PLEBE. Soooo Bella. Too bad it’s snowing, right? You probably hate it here. Not that I read your diary.
BELLA: Yeah it pretty much blows.
EDWARD: Then why are you even here?
READERS: Yeah! Why are you here?
BELLA: My mom got remarried to a guy that travels but my mom isn’t traveling with him or anything so she didn’t send me here, I did.
EDWARD: I don’t get it.
READERS: Yeah, neither do we.
BELLA: She was all mopey when she stayed at home with me.
EDWARD: Oh. Your reasoning is sort of dumb. Also I bet you’re truly suffering deep down because your life is incomparably difficult.
BELLA: OH MY GOD IT’S LIKE YOU KNOW ME. Let’s sex up. Wait no, let me act somewhat but not really annoyed that I’m easy to read despite the fact I said the exact opposite about my emotions at the very beginning of this book.
EDWARD: I have pretty teeth.
BELLA: *dazzled*
*later*
BELLA: Time to go home! Oh look Edward is staring at me in a creepy manner and laughing for no discernible reason. He’s hot.
END OF CHAPTER TWO
---
Gasp! Will Bella and Edward's legendary romance blossom soon so we can get past these pages and pages of unnecessary crap? Is Edward being a creepy stalker? Will Bella even give a damn? Find out in chapter... well, hell, I actually don't know what chapter resolves all that. Soon though. Maybe.
Continue on to Chapter Three...
TWILIGHT
CHAPTER TWO
NEXT DAY: I’m better and worse all at once! I’m so talented.
ERIC: HI AGAIN.
BELLA: Ew, nerds.
THE DAY: I’m so hard.
BELLA: Edward isn’t here. :*( This is the worst part of my day EVER, despite the fact he’s shown nothing towards me but contempt and disgust! My life is OVER.
MIKE: I dare to be friendly!
BELLA: Oh we’re going to have to put an end to that shit.
*later*
BELLA: Okay, I’m going to be a stereotypical daughter of a single father and do all the food stuff. I am going to the store.
SHINY NEW VOLVO: *sparkle*
BELLA: Oh crap, rich kids. OH WAIT IT’S THE PRETTY PEOPLE YAY. That seems weird that pretty people have money but I guess that’s normal. But no that must mean they want to be alone.
LOGIC: Wait, what?
*later*
BELLA: *checks her e-mail*
BELLA’S MOM: NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC.
BELLA: Geez, calm down, freak.
CHARLIE: Hi!
BELLA: Eat food, if you even know what that is, plebe.
CHARLIE: How’s school?
BELLA: I’m totally in love with Edward.
CHARLIE: GRRR I LOVE THAT FAMILY. You should see the doctor, I hear he’s a dreamboat.
BELLA: Is he as hot as Edward?
*later*
EDWARD: *is not at school all week*
BELLA: Maybe I need new shampoo...
*later*
SNOW: Hi!
BELLA: Ew that means it’s cold. And you’re not unique like you’re supposed to be, you look like the end of a Q-tip, every last one of you.
READERS: ...What?
STUDENTS: Ha ha, we love throwing snowballs because we know how to have fun!
BELLA: Dude screw that. You all suck, I’m going inside.
LUNCH TABLE: *has five pretty people*
BELLA: OH GOD I’M GOING TO BE SICK.
JESSICA AND MIKE: What the hell...?
PRETTY PEOPLE: *laugh laugh laugh just like a movie*
READERS: ... What?
JESSICA: Are you staring at pretty people?
BELLA: Who wouldn’t?
JESSICA: Edward is totally scamming on you, girl.
BELLA: OMG :O Don’t look at him or I’ll kill you.
JESSICA: Tee hee!
*later, in class or something*
EDWARD: Hi Bella, I speak to you.
BELLA: !!! You know my name! The real one, not my birth name.
EDWARD: Oh. I think I may have just accidentally hinted that I’ve been stalking you... you know, that or you’re so unique and special that the whole school is talking about you and this is in no way a reflection of what Stephanie Meyer wished high school was like.
BELLA: What?
EDWARD: What? Nothing. What?
CLASS: *starts*
EDWARD: I smile crooked.
BELLA: YOU’RE PRETTY, I WANT YOUR BABIES.
SCIENCE: Apparently I’m sexy, I was not aware.
PORNO MUSIC: *plays as BELLA and EDWARD look in each other’s microscopes... if you know what I mean*
EDWARD: I look frustrated for no reason!
BELLA: Your eyes changed color. Trust me, I’ve memorized everything about you.
EDWARD: Don’t be stupid.
SCIENCE TEACHER: You’re so cool, Isabella.
EDWARD: IT’S BELLA, YOU PLEBE. Soooo Bella. Too bad it’s snowing, right? You probably hate it here. Not that I read your diary.
BELLA: Yeah it pretty much blows.
EDWARD: Then why are you even here?
READERS: Yeah! Why are you here?
BELLA: My mom got remarried to a guy that travels but my mom isn’t traveling with him or anything so she didn’t send me here, I did.
EDWARD: I don’t get it.
READERS: Yeah, neither do we.
BELLA: She was all mopey when she stayed at home with me.
EDWARD: Oh. Your reasoning is sort of dumb. Also I bet you’re truly suffering deep down because your life is incomparably difficult.
BELLA: OH MY GOD IT’S LIKE YOU KNOW ME. Let’s sex up. Wait no, let me act somewhat but not really annoyed that I’m easy to read despite the fact I said the exact opposite about my emotions at the very beginning of this book.
EDWARD: I have pretty teeth.
BELLA: *dazzled*
*later*
BELLA: Time to go home! Oh look Edward is staring at me in a creepy manner and laughing for no discernible reason. He’s hot.
END OF CHAPTER TWO
---
Gasp! Will Bella and Edward's legendary romance blossom soon so we can get past these pages and pages of unnecessary crap? Is Edward being a creepy stalker? Will Bella even give a damn? Find out in chapter... well, hell, I actually don't know what chapter resolves all that. Soon though. Maybe.
Continue on to Chapter Three...