Twilight! 9
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TWILIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
BELLA: Before I tell you you’re a vampire and all the readers roll their eyes at how incredibly boring this book is, let me ask you another question.
EDWARD: Fine.
BELLA: How did you know where I was?
EDWARD: Please, I could leave the damn country and still smell you. Shower once in a while, would you?
BELLA: Also, stop ignoring my other questions. How do your read minds blah blah family blah...
EDWARD: Shut up. It’s just me, not my family. I’m unique and special.
BELLA: So why am I so unique and special?
EDWARD: Well maybe you just don’t think.
BELLA: OH MY GOD I’M A FREAK? OH MY GOD THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.
EDWARD: Uh. I read minds.
BELLA: Yeah so anyway OH MY GOD YOU’RE DRIVING FAST.
EDWARD: You have a very annoying sense of priorities.
BELLA: Anyway, Jacob says you’re a vampire. I flirted with him to get him to say it.
EDWARD: You’re kind of a bitch.
BELLA: Yeah. Anyway then I googled some and most the stuff is kind of silly. Anyway I don’t really care.
EDWARD: WHAT. YOU’RE A FREAK. INSANE. COOCOO IN THE HEAD.
BELLA: Right. So how old are you then?
EDWARD: Seventeen... and some more. And I can go on the sun and don’t burn alive and don’t sleep in coffins... in fact, don’t sleep. So don’t you want to know about my diet? That we don’t hunt humans but we’re still dangerous. In fact I shouldn’t be alone with you.
BELLA: Oh hell yes, we’re totally in Romeo and Juliet terms now. AWESOME.
EDWARD: Anyway I get hungry a lot but I don’t like being away from you when I have to suck the blood out of cute animals. I miss you.
THOUSANDS OF THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS: HE’S LIKE THE PERFECT MAN I LOVE HIM.
EDWARD: Anyway I can’t be in the sun, but not because of death. I’ll show you sometimes.
READERS WHO KNOW WHY: LOLOLOL
BELLA: I miss you too, by the way.
EDWARD: WELL YOU SHOULDN’T. Despite me stalking you, we should not be around each other and you shouldn’t like me so stop.
BELLA: *kri*
EDWARD: Crap, are you CRYING? Crap. Crap. Women. By the way, why didn’t you run away or scream for help?
BELLA: I was going to be brave and fight.
EDWARD: You’re dumb.
HOME: *is reached*
EDWARD: Bye! Oh, don’t go into the woods, there are dangerous things.
PLOT: *perks up* Wait, is that a hint of me? Please??
BELLA: *calls Jessica* LIKE OMG.
JESSICA: OMG. TELL ME EVERYTHING.
BELLA: TOMORROW.
JESSICA: Boo. Well okay then.
---
Well so far I'm not seeing Plot, but... there may be hope yet! Stay tuned!
Continue on to Chapter Ten...
TWILIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
BELLA: Before I tell you you’re a vampire and all the readers roll their eyes at how incredibly boring this book is, let me ask you another question.
EDWARD: Fine.
BELLA: How did you know where I was?
EDWARD: Please, I could leave the damn country and still smell you. Shower once in a while, would you?
BELLA: Also, stop ignoring my other questions. How do your read minds blah blah family blah...
EDWARD: Shut up. It’s just me, not my family. I’m unique and special.
BELLA: So why am I so unique and special?
EDWARD: Well maybe you just don’t think.
BELLA: OH MY GOD I’M A FREAK? OH MY GOD THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.
EDWARD: Uh. I read minds.
BELLA: Yeah so anyway OH MY GOD YOU’RE DRIVING FAST.
EDWARD: You have a very annoying sense of priorities.
BELLA: Anyway, Jacob says you’re a vampire. I flirted with him to get him to say it.
EDWARD: You’re kind of a bitch.
BELLA: Yeah. Anyway then I googled some and most the stuff is kind of silly. Anyway I don’t really care.
EDWARD: WHAT. YOU’RE A FREAK. INSANE. COOCOO IN THE HEAD.
BELLA: Right. So how old are you then?
EDWARD: Seventeen... and some more. And I can go on the sun and don’t burn alive and don’t sleep in coffins... in fact, don’t sleep. So don’t you want to know about my diet? That we don’t hunt humans but we’re still dangerous. In fact I shouldn’t be alone with you.
BELLA: Oh hell yes, we’re totally in Romeo and Juliet terms now. AWESOME.
EDWARD: Anyway I get hungry a lot but I don’t like being away from you when I have to suck the blood out of cute animals. I miss you.
THOUSANDS OF THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS: HE’S LIKE THE PERFECT MAN I LOVE HIM.
EDWARD: Anyway I can’t be in the sun, but not because of death. I’ll show you sometimes.
READERS WHO KNOW WHY: LOLOLOL
BELLA: I miss you too, by the way.
EDWARD: WELL YOU SHOULDN’T. Despite me stalking you, we should not be around each other and you shouldn’t like me so stop.
BELLA: *kri*
EDWARD: Crap, are you CRYING? Crap. Crap. Women. By the way, why didn’t you run away or scream for help?
BELLA: I was going to be brave and fight.
EDWARD: You’re dumb.
HOME: *is reached*
EDWARD: Bye! Oh, don’t go into the woods, there are dangerous things.
PLOT: *perks up* Wait, is that a hint of me? Please??
BELLA: *calls Jessica* LIKE OMG.
JESSICA: OMG. TELL ME EVERYTHING.
BELLA: TOMORROW.
JESSICA: Boo. Well okay then.
---
Well so far I'm not seeing Plot, but... there may be hope yet! Stay tuned!
Continue on to Chapter Ten...