Twilight! 12
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TWILIGHT
CHAPTER TWELVE OH DEAR GOD AM I EVEN CLOSE TO DONE WITH THIS SHIT YET
BILLY: Hi!
CHARLIE: Hi!
JACOB: Hi again!
BELLA: Uh.
BILLY: Jacob wanted to see BEEEELLLAAA *nudge*
JACOB: D:
BELLA: Crap, another one.
JACOB: So I saw that nice car some one drove you home in but I don’t recognize him.
BELLA: Edward Cullen, isn’t he gorgeous?
JACOB: Uh, sure?
THIS ENTIRE SCENE: *is more or less useless*
THE NEXT MORNING: We couldn’t just skip straight to me, we had to add an extra two pages on THAT?
BELLA: YAY EDWARD. My life’s goal is to gaze upon his gorgeous face!
EDWARD: Sup. So do you have boyfriends?
BELLA: Not in Phoenix.
EDWARD: So I’m going to eat more cute animals tonight. You know, for your protection.
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC!
EDWARD: Life is very hard for me because me being with you is incredibly selfish and dangerous and my family doesn’t understand because they have actual logic.
BELLA: You poor thing! I want to comfort you and make all your pain go away!
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC!
ALICE: Hi. Edward, let’s go.
EDWARD: Don’t fall into a washing machine, Bella.
BELLA: You are so sweet! Bye.
*later*
BELLA: Gosh tomorrow in Seattle together is so important and our relationship is on the edge of a knife and is so dramatic.
READERS: ... Wait, really?
BELLA: There is nothing in the world more terrible than the thought of being away from him! I am committed to this relationship forever!
MIKE: Come to the dance despite the fact that you’ve repeatedly said no!
BELLA: GO AWAY.
*later*
BELLA: Dad you’re right, I’m not going to Seattle.
READERS: Huh?
BELLA: I’ll be at home. You’ll be gone all day fishing and it’ll be okay.
CHARLIE: Okay!
*later*
BELLA: Gosh everything is so intense and I could never cut Edward out of my life because my life is ABOUT him.
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC!
READERS: *headdesk*
*later*
BELLA: Ah, what a nice morning! I’m glad the cold drugs I took to sleep worked!
READERS: Now there’s an example for America’s youth.
BELLA: OMG EDWARD HI.
EDWARD: We match clothes, we’re like a real couple now. Anyway let’s take your old deadbeat truck to Seattle. But we’re hiking first.
BELLA: I MIGHT EMBARRASS MYSELF BY FALLING! I mean I might die too, BUT EMBARRASSMENT.
EDWARD: Do people know we’re together?
BELLA: No I lied to everyone.
EDWARD: ARE YOU SUICIDAL?
READERS: Wait, what?
EDWARD: So you’re worried about me. That’s dumb.
READERS: .... I feel like I skipped something.
BELLA: Let’s go up this non-trail, you jerk.
EDWARD: Okay.
*later*
EDWARD: Okay we’re here... in sunlight.
DRAMATIC MUSIC: Dun dun DUUUNNNN!
END OF CHAPTER TWELVE
---
Gasp! What could possibly happen to Edward in the sunlight! Stay tuned to find out the dazzling truth about vampires!
Continue on to Chapter Thirteen...
TWILIGHT
CHAPTER TWELVE OH DEAR GOD AM I EVEN CLOSE TO DONE WITH THIS SHIT YET
BILLY: Hi!
CHARLIE: Hi!
JACOB: Hi again!
BELLA: Uh.
BILLY: Jacob wanted to see BEEEELLLAAA *nudge*
JACOB: D:
BELLA: Crap, another one.
JACOB: So I saw that nice car some one drove you home in but I don’t recognize him.
BELLA: Edward Cullen, isn’t he gorgeous?
JACOB: Uh, sure?
THIS ENTIRE SCENE: *is more or less useless*
THE NEXT MORNING: We couldn’t just skip straight to me, we had to add an extra two pages on THAT?
BELLA: YAY EDWARD. My life’s goal is to gaze upon his gorgeous face!
EDWARD: Sup. So do you have boyfriends?
BELLA: Not in Phoenix.
EDWARD: So I’m going to eat more cute animals tonight. You know, for your protection.
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC!
EDWARD: Life is very hard for me because me being with you is incredibly selfish and dangerous and my family doesn’t understand because they have actual logic.
BELLA: You poor thing! I want to comfort you and make all your pain go away!
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC!
ALICE: Hi. Edward, let’s go.
EDWARD: Don’t fall into a washing machine, Bella.
BELLA: You are so sweet! Bye.
*later*
BELLA: Gosh tomorrow in Seattle together is so important and our relationship is on the edge of a knife and is so dramatic.
READERS: ... Wait, really?
BELLA: There is nothing in the world more terrible than the thought of being away from him! I am committed to this relationship forever!
MIKE: Come to the dance despite the fact that you’ve repeatedly said no!
BELLA: GO AWAY.
*later*
BELLA: Dad you’re right, I’m not going to Seattle.
READERS: Huh?
BELLA: I’ll be at home. You’ll be gone all day fishing and it’ll be okay.
CHARLIE: Okay!
*later*
BELLA: Gosh everything is so intense and I could never cut Edward out of my life because my life is ABOUT him.
THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC!
READERS: *headdesk*
*later*
BELLA: Ah, what a nice morning! I’m glad the cold drugs I took to sleep worked!
READERS: Now there’s an example for America’s youth.
BELLA: OMG EDWARD HI.
EDWARD: We match clothes, we’re like a real couple now. Anyway let’s take your old deadbeat truck to Seattle. But we’re hiking first.
BELLA: I MIGHT EMBARRASS MYSELF BY FALLING! I mean I might die too, BUT EMBARRASSMENT.
EDWARD: Do people know we’re together?
BELLA: No I lied to everyone.
EDWARD: ARE YOU SUICIDAL?
READERS: Wait, what?
EDWARD: So you’re worried about me. That’s dumb.
READERS: .... I feel like I skipped something.
BELLA: Let’s go up this non-trail, you jerk.
EDWARD: Okay.
*later*
EDWARD: Okay we’re here... in sunlight.
DRAMATIC MUSIC: Dun dun DUUUNNNN!
END OF CHAPTER TWELVE
---
Gasp! What could possibly happen to Edward in the sunlight! Stay tuned to find out the dazzling truth about vampires!
Continue on to Chapter Thirteen...