So my students are writing cause and effect essays on The Giver; this particular student chose to analyze the effects of Sameness. Her third paragraph is how there is no imagination (think John Lennon), but sadly, she got a little confused ( Read more... )

"Miiiiiisssss.  There's a drunk man outside your door ( Read more... )

I just spent an entire paycheck on a ticket to Spain.

That's 1/24th of my income.

Best paycheck I've ever spent.

I: spent 1 night in the ER and 4 days in the hospital, consumed 12 meals, took 2 sets X-rays, had 1 ultrasound and 1 CAT scan, was administered endless blood tests and connected to approximately 12 IV bags, and experienced 4 blood-thinning shots delivered through a needle the size of a caulk gun into my abdomen ( Read more... )

"Getting pregnant is a serious thing because it can lead to AIDS or pregnancy ( Read more... )

"She reminds me of everyone I've ever hated wrapped into one person ( Read more... )

If we still have facebook when I die, please don't create a group for my death.

Kthnx.

So the only way I'm going to get through grading 120 writing proficiency essays is by sharing absurd answers with the general public.  I'm toying with the idea of documenting all of the insane writing that my students turn in and publishing it when I retire.  That book would be enormous and side-splitting.  It's a shame my students actually write ( Read more... )

Normally when I can't sleep, especially when there's a source, I usually write in my paper journal.  I can't find a pen, so here I am.  And I figure as long as I'm getting thoughts out, I should do so in a public manner, since it turns out I'm pretty bad at talking to people far away from me.

So a lot of my past has recently involuntarily dug itself ( Read more... )

The following things are hilarious and/or awkward to do while wearing a giant bag of jelly beans:

Have a serious class discussion about rape
Send a student to the dean's office
Drive on the 215
Eat jelly beans
Hug a giant woppie cushion
Watch a middle school dance (hilarious regardless of attire)