i am literally dying of bordem here. yet its the holidays, i am free to do what i want, and i CANT BRING MYSELF to call my friends. yes, call my friends. why is it such a tedius task? i should WANT to chat with my friends, hang out with them...but no. i just got a text from matt -"i dont know much. but i know that i love you. And that is all i ever ( Read more... )

i fucking hate to be continued. i have noooooo time lately. well, i have no time to write. too many places i have to be. and when i dont have to be anywhere, i'm with matt ( Read more... )

im waiting to be picked up to go to a 21st. not just any 21st...a "smorgan 21st" ..the smorgans are one of the richest families in australia. i expect...well, lots of nice food i guess? it's gonna be kill me. im not too excited about going because i am dead tired from last night...so its themed "countries of the world". i had no friggin clue what ( Read more... )

i have to keep reminding myself that ( Read more... )

Is this possible? This is the problem. This is the conflict. My happiness is based on my appearance…well not so much based on it, but it is DEPENDANT on it. I realized this today…tonight. This pimple, which I have attacked and is now a disgusting I don’t know what…it has made me depressed all day. It is all I can think about. It is driving me ( Read more... )

how the fuck can one (huge mother fucking but one, singluar, never the less) PIMPLE make me SO depressed...this is pathetic. but i cant change how i feel. all the high school emotions flooding back...i cant handle zits. i cant at all. i have attacked my cheek. and now even sitting at home alone, with noone to see my disgusting face, i have ( Read more... )

oh god do i hate them...i remember 95% of my insecurities in high school, my "depression" in high school was BECAUSE OF MY SKIN. and if you look at pictures of me...my skin was so average! ok it was never 100% clear, i always had a few small blemishes...but i didnt have acne! i didnt have bad skin at all. but it wasnt clear. and i hated it. i ( Read more... )

well this is definitely gonna be incoherent...im post purge, eating and apple and....well feeling rather out of it ( Read more... )

i haven’t felt like writing much lately...i feel...blank. not depressed or sad or angry...and not ecstatically happy...just OK. i guess that is good? it is alot better than feeling overwhelming negative emotions ( Read more... )

i just had a horrible bp session. such a let down. i was so psyced up...mum and dad were at the movies and oscar was working then going straight to dinner (or so i thought - stupid surprise drop ins)...anyway it all went wrong. ok so i decided to COOK. first bad idea...im a horrible cook! and a stupid cook too ..clearly, because i don’t learn from ( Read more... )