Sometimes when I close my eyes and dig my fingers ever so slightly into my scalp I have a moment of calm. You know the cliche, calm before the storm. I take a suppressed breath against the mountain sitting on my lungs and try to heave it up just to get a moment, a moment ( Read more... )

I thought I had an imaginary friend. I thought I named him Jack. We would meet in the recesses of my mind, the short breaths between crushing reality and oppressed thought. We'd play. We'd scream. We'd destroy things, whatever I needed. I fed off of his intensity, his furious anger at everything and he fed off the internal conflict I stored within ( Read more... )

Here we are again, I feel the chemicals kickin' in. It's gettin' heavier and I wanna run and hide, I wanna run and hide. I do it every time. You're killin' me now. And I won't be denied by you, the animal inside of you.

This follows a previous entry. You can find it here: http://shoelace009.livejournal.com/102324.html .
I think it is better if you read the entry but you don't have to in order to get it.

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Heat seared towards me on the tails of red sparks. I was in the wrong end of a firework shot towards the ground rather than away from it. It felt like one of ( Read more... )

I looked up. It was one of those nights where I had nowhere to go so I just picked a star in the sky and followed the streets I thought would get me closest to it, ignoring the fact that none of the streets were on hills and I wasn't climbing any higher. It didn't matter though because I wanted to be closer to the star, not in possession of it. ( Read more... )

I think there is a story in everything. That's why  I love photographs and random internet surfing. You never know where it will take you or what story you will find. I have included two photos that I really like that I think there is definitely a story to. I may or may not write about them. Not sure yet.


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBrlYtV60GA

The song above is one of my favorites from Michael Buble, one of my favorite contemporary artists. I think he is amazing. Anyways, bit of an explanation: I listen to a lot of different types of music but a song I can relate to or that makes me think is always better than one that doesn't. I like things that ( Read more... )

Don't fucking look at me like that, okay? I told you, I hate it when you give me that face. And yes I said give because when you make that face you're giving me that emotion that inspired it. And maybe I don't want it. Maybe I'm just having a good day and would like to keep it that way. Maybe I don't want to look like I'm sucking on a lemon. Sour ( Read more... )

Don't you ever just find some words, some phrases that appeal to you? That just enter your ears and ring there, just for a moment. Not like loud, annoying church bells. Just maybe a little chime and you think, God that sounds good. God I love words.

With the increasing familiarity of words for the last 21 years I have been living, this happens less ( Read more... )

I'm sitting here, staring at the windshield freezing over. I know how it feels because my feet are going through about the same thing. Waiting on you, like always. Burning with anger and frustration, even in the midst of a snow storm. Didn't know it was possible but here we are ( Read more... )