(Untitled)

[shreena]

Shreena's Question Of the Day..

If a child asked you "Do you believe in God?" and you knew that you held a view contrary to their parents, how would you answer their question and why?

Not arising from a real life situation, just spotted a discussion of it elsewhere.

Comments

[lisekit]

I would answer this question (and all others) honestly, because I think dealing with children dishonestly is a bad way to go. I think the purpose of the small person's question is that they're after a data sample on the current state of adult belief in their surrounding acquaintances; just because you say something that might contradict their parents' word doesn't mean they'll instantly adopt whatever you say as their own position.

They're just building up a picture. Skewing the results would be foul play in this or any other research (no matter how young the researcher).

[biascut]

On the other hand, ethical research practice does demand that the participants have the opportunity to refuse to be part of the research project and incur no negative effects.

(sorry, I ran research ethics training this morning!)

[lisekit]

Also a possibility! But then I think the refusal should also be clear and honest. "I'm not touching that with a forty-foot pole" rather than "Have a biscuit".

[friend_of_tofu]

If they ask what you believe ( not what is) then tell them what you believe. Kids are people too and have the right to expect honest dealing, as much is the next person.

[hairyears]

"What I believe is for me"

Actually, you'll find that the children in an oppressively-religious household will have been ordered not to raise the subject if their owners are aware that your beliefs differ from theirs. In these circumstances, a child may well be asking in order to be 'naughty' so as to precipitate a fuss, and any answer that you give will only lead to the lesson that questioning leads to punishment. As lessons in religion go, this has the virtue of truth, but I doubt that it is what you want to tell a child, no matter how indirectly.

"Ask your parents" works well, with a bright smile that hints that you know more answers than they've been told.

For older children, I use "I am a guest in this house, and I will not contradict the teachings of this house while I am made welcome in it". Out of their parents' hearing, "Ask me again, at my table" is an invitation that a few have taken up

[ingaborg]

I would answer honestly. How strongly I'd contradict their parents would depend on the age of the child, how bonkers their parents' views were, and how likely I thought they were to turn violent.

For example if I thought the parents were actively damaging the child with extreme beliefs, e.g. using them to justify taking them out of school and beating them daily, or refusing them medical care, I would try to reassure the child that it wasn't their fault, and possibly call the police.

[kathrid]

I would tell them the truth. No.

If they ask further questions I'd answer them equally honestly. Since in discussions of religion I don't tend to say absolutes (such as 'You are wrong') anyway, but instead offer opinions ('I think you are wrong'), I don't see anything wrong with this. I'm happy to contradict the parents in this way, just as I would do to their faces. If they are the sort of person to get annoyed by this, then to be frank I'd be quite surprised they got to be friends of mine in the first place.