We have our ups, and unfortunately downs, already. We disagree on things. He can be insensitive to the point of me not knowing if I can continue with it. I'm starting to see his flaws and downfalls, but...
He makes my heart beat. Again. He gives me butterflies. I look in his eyes in a way that I've never looked in anyone elses eyes before. He calls ( Read more... )

"This seems like the beginning of something amazing. I'm trying not to let infatuation get in the way of what's real. But I'm certain if you stick it out, we'll make each other happy for a long time."

Exchange a couple messages late Sunday night (I message him. "I like long walks on strawberry's and eating chocolate covered beaches"). We're both going to bed soon, so as to not make things pointless he asks for my facebook info. I would have turned down anyone else, but for some reason, with him, it felt right. We fb chat. I give him my number. ( Read more... )

Moody died a couple days ago. Totally unbelievable. Got together with Richard, Chris, Kane, Mike and Jamie last night at Kane's. Sat around outside with candles and beer. The rest of the guys couldn't make it. We're all happy he was in Japan, having the time of his life, before he went. It's just really fucked up,

I think I'm just going to have to be single, until I meet someone really right, if that ever happens. Clearly trying hasn't worked. Trying to find someone, trying to be with the men I have found. It hasn't worked at all. It seems it may be true that you find love when you're not looking. That was definitely the case with Matt. I was already in a ( Read more... )

I was waiting for this to happen.
Sigh....Matt took his new stupid old lady girlfriend home to Madoc.
I just looked at an album of the pictures, on his Mom's facebook.
She met his family, went to the skate park, slept in our bed there, etc etc etc. Fucking bullshit. I hate it.
Lucky for Matt's Dad, who always call Matt's new girlfriend by his last ( Read more... )

Alone.
Brandon and I are really over. Co-workers. Friends, maybe. Past. It doesn't hurt as much as it could, as much as I thought it might, I guess, but it hurts. I'm jealous. I see him with girls and I think maybe they're her, and I want them all to die, you know? Yeah. It had to end eventually, we weren't real. I knew as well as he did that we ( Read more... )

I knew it. I called it.
He's found someone better than me. He's done with me.
It fucking fucking fucking hurts.
The most alone. How did this happen.
It fucking hurts.

honestly
 i don't really know you on a deep level
 who you really are
 but my initial and i believe correct belief
 is you are are an absolute catch
 have one side that is gentle, understanding, loving
 and another that is totally wild and fun
 not only are you obviously over-the-top beautiful in real life
 but you've got a hell of a personality ( Read more... )

To be wanted by many, and no one, at the same time.
Ohhh this is the life.
I was sure things with Joel and I were over, and then not so sure. Right now I'm pretty sure, unless it turns out they're not....what? He is so confused, and so confusing. And bad, I think, everyone thinks. Yes. Definitely not good. Damaged.
Brandon and I are the same as always ( Read more... )