I wish I could be different. Better. Easier.

I was off work at 5 on Monday and had no plans for afterward. It was so nice out. Going to Toronto to see Dylan crossed my mind. I txted him just to say "Hi", and he told me I should come see him. I hadn't seen his new place yet. So I went. I caught the 6 o'clock bus and got to Union at 7. He told me he'd meet me there, but instead, last minute, ( Read more... )

The second person to ask if we're a couple, and say we'd look good as one.
We would. I wish.

Stayed over at new boy's one night.
His, the next.

Working so much. Tired. In every way.

We talk for the first time in a couple days, on MSN. Small talk. He say's he's gotta go but adds "I'll talk to you later tonight! xoxoxo!".
I'm glad all it does is make me shake my head, roll my eyes, and laugh.
I don't get him, and I don't really care.

The very next night, we work together. We txt throughout the night about how shitty the show is, and exchange a few dirty txts, as always. We make plans to get food and hang out once we're done. I finish early, and wait around for him to be done, for about 2 hours. My boss comes back at the end of the night and thinks it strange I'm still there, I ( Read more... )

I was bored at work yesterday, so i txted Bliss, as well as a few other people. We talked all day. He asked if I'd want to hang out the next night, after we were done work together. I told him I didn't think we should keep what we'd been doing going. He guessed that it was because there's another boy, and he assumed he knew who. I didn't deny it ( Read more... )

Our "would have been one year" has passed, valentine's day has passed, seeing him for the first time, his birthday. The only thing left is "one year since we got our apartment" i suppose. But the worst is over. I'm back to getting/being over it. He wants to come over and see Leroy sometime soon. I'm not sure how that will go, but I guess we'll see ( Read more... )

my eyes saw him for the first time last night, since. the worst night possible, basically. completely.
it went okay. i survived. i'm glad i went.
today it hurts more though.
today it hurts more than it has in a long time.
today it's really fucking me up, and i hope it doesn't last. i feel really fucked up and totally taken over.

he holds me somewhat more legitimately now, than he did when we were more so together.
i can't remember a time before this morning, that he was laying on the opposite side of the bed, and felt the urge to travel over to me in one fell swoop. half on top of me, arms around me, nuzzled in my neck nook, warm breath, lips touching my skin.
he smiles at ( Read more... )

I txted him yesterday around noon, just to say that I hoped his show the night before was good. He said thank you, and that it was, and asked what I did that night. I told him I went to the strip club, and that the more ugly strippers I see, the more I realize I could become one. He told me I could practice in front of him, I said I was thinking ( Read more... )