someone remind me to write about how melanie's spirit is alive and well and how i met said spirit through her doppleganger during her recent hospital stay secondary to bacterial pneumonia. gosh, i miss melanie more than i ever did when she was alive. its strange how death does that to a person's memory. what hurts so much about all that is that her ( Read more... )

i found all of my old techno albums from south dakota when i was cleaning off an external hard drive the other day. some 15 gigs of them. why does listening to them depress me, i thought dance music was suppose to make one happy ( Read more... )

so in about two months, i will have my first (and hopefully) my last bachelor's degree. school has been torment, truly. if i ever have to do another group project with a 23 year old individual who still lives with his parents i think i will jump off the nearest bridge. and mind you we have quite a few bridges to choose from. i have so little ( Read more... )

so i just want to get out the last guy i hooked up with (and in turn kick start this journal back up). it was such an interesting experience. it very much reminded me of south dakota and it very much happened to be with a boy from north dakota. funny how all that works out. and even funnier that he knew l.w. personally; a boy i have written ( Read more... )

today is my 35th birthday ( Read more... )

thursday it seemed we got away with murder and this is the image.
( .. ... . )

i rode 22 miles on my bike yesterday and it felt kinda amazing. it was a beautiful view from the marin headlands to look at the bridge from such a far away distance and think, i made it here entirely on my own. and of course the subsequent thought was, i have to make it back. it was exhausting but the kind of exhaust that makes your body feel ( Read more... )

its been quite a long three weeks and im not giving up entirely on the wrestle for my mind but i am certainly finding it difficult to see away out of this choke hold. pre-pride, pride, post-pride and 4th of july all seemed to have run into each other so much so that i can hardly tell the days apart. well i guess i can really if i just focus on the ( Read more... )

i miss you terribly.
and i find myself in songs that remind me of you.
as those memroies remind me of tons of boys that came before.
the tons of boys that truely shaped our differences.
me with broad experience,
you with limited experience. 

sometimes you're ahead
sometimes you're behind
the race is long
and in the end it's only with yourself