I finally ordered a lens for the Nikon D40 I've had since July 2007.

It's a 50mm f/1.4 prime, perfect for portraits, low-light environments, or any situation where an artfully blurry background is desired. Check out the photos from Amazon customersI can't wait to play around with it, as I feel like I've reached the limits of the mediocre kit lens ( Read more... )

See this iPhone application?

Click to view

It made its developer $250,000 in two monthsIt's a puzzle game. I could totally write something like that. Hell, I wrote a puzzle game and sold it when I was sixteen. Of course, I only got $500, but it was on the Apple II platform. How awesome it would be if I could strike gold seventeen years later with, again, ( Read more... )

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unless he's trying to kill you with a house fire. - Me

I thought of that while lying in bed this morning. Happy Caturday, everyone :)

I can't fault John Roberts for messing up the oath of office. He's just as likely to get flustered around Obama as any other gay man.

... but here are some things I'd like to do in 2009:1. Travel internationally. Amazingly, I'm 33 and have never been out of the country, save for Canada, which doesn't count because they're basically us with metric speed limit signs, universal healthcare, and no guns. I have a passport because I was so close to touring Europe with two friends ( Read more... )

As I type this, my dad is enjoying a surprise party for his 60th birthday, surrounded by his loving family, old friends, and even some former neighbors. I should be there, too, but I'm not, because United Airlines is a bunch of pig fuckers who overbooked and kicked me off a flight I paid for six months ago.I was ready to break out in tears and/or ( Read more... )

This won't be my last LASIK post, but it will be the longest (unless my eyes explode, in which case I'll write a really long complaint after buying a Braille keyboard). Here I describe my entire experience for posterity's sake.

Morning of the ProcedureI had a dental appointment at 10am, and it only takes one minute to walk to my dentist's office ( Read more... )

I'm on the eve of getting myself the best Christmas present of all time. In about fourteen hours, my eyes are getting IntraLASIK'ed ( Read more... )

Wal-Mart worker dies after shoppers knock him downPaying attention, Hollywood? This could be made into a great thriller. The mentally unstable brother of the victim obtains the surveillance tape, stalks every person who trampled his brother, then kills them with whatever discount item was so goddamned important that they literally walked all over ( Read more... )

How funny would it be to make a porno featuring conjoined twins, then call it, 2 Girls, 1 Cunt?

I thought of this just now as I finished half a bag of Doritos Collisions, which combines Zesty Taco (another good porno title) chips with Chipotle Ranch chips as "2 flavors - 1 bag." Every time I see "2 X, 1 Y" on any media, I immediately think of 2 ( Read more... )