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I have been thinking...
For an intelligent person I can be quite stupid, some would say boneheaded. I have been having thoughts that I have not dared tell anyone,let alone my friends out family. Lately life has been feeling less and less worth living. I have been thinking more and more that I won't make it tho the age of 34. I don't want to say this aloud or voice it ( Read more... ) -
Oh my...
Holy ( Read more... ) -
My current state
I hate posting same day entries. Yet I have been unable to stop my thoughts. I keep wanting to contact him. I keep calling others his name. How retarded is that? I mean it hasn't even been that long. To make matters worse he 'liked' one of my statuses on facebook. He then 'poked' me too. Is that to be construed as hope? Or should I take ( Read more... ) -
A Break?
Tim and I almost broke up. Right now we are taking a "break" and I am not sure on how it is going.
The break was established so that Tim could have time to decide if he truly meant his feelings. He didn't know if he felt love for me as a lover or as a friend (at least that is how I am taking it). I have tasked myself to not calling him/talking ( Read more... ) -
... remembering to breathe
Well... you ever get the feeling that you are trying too hard? Where you are forcing yourself through the motions because it is what to be expected. Even if it feels so out of sync with your mind and body?
That is how I have been feeling lately. I feel like I am playing through motions. I am just doing what people want me to do. I don't feel ( Read more... ) -
A title
My patience towards people has been wearing thin lately. I can't seem to be comfortable with most people. I have been agitated for a couple of weeks now. I feel as if I am on a hair trigger. I started karate again and it seems to help but it only a little. Currently I am sitting secluded off to the side watching people and denying the urge to ( Read more... ) -
Fear.
I have come to the conclusion that I am afraid to live. I am afraid to take the chance and move on with my life. I have gained a fear from my surgeries. I am afraid to put myself out there. I am afraid to find a job. I am afraid of hurting myself again. It seems weird to have this association with fear and pain. However, when you feel pain ( Read more... ) -
Topic of the day.
I feel so useless. I don't understand why I can't get a job. My ankle is the size of a baseball and I feel that crying is the best answer. I got food but I feel too sick to eat it. DX -
Emo post of emo
I love how a good day can go bad just because I am a giant clutz. I will be productive tomorrow.
"I am not saying that this is good or bad." - Devics, Salty Seas
That sums up everything I am feeling right now. -
Feelings.
I love how when I typed the subject Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie was the thing to pop into my head ( Read more... )