it's been months; about 8. things have gotten better. i guess. i miss her. it's not the g/f i miss, it's the friend. we will never be friends. i don't know what it is but she's been convinced that i did or maybe said something very bad. she won't talk to me about it. i've accepted it. what else can i do? i'm dating. i have a main date. i'm happy ( Read more... )

i feel so alone. and not really because of d. it does affect me socially sort of badly but i don't have a you or a c here. the people that can cheer me up are so far away. a is in her own world. m and i have to be careful because she's friends with EVERYBODY involved. k is miserable. i just don't know. i feel so lonely a lot of the time here. i ( Read more... )

thing are still very up and down for me. i usually have some type of cryfest on mondays or tuesdays. after a weekend of not having to see her and then having to see her on monday is hard. i wish she would just quit. you'd think she could do one decent thing in all of this. my favorite thing in the world.... is seeing the hickeys on her neck. ( Read more... )

FUCK! i just wrote this entry and then the www did something weird and the small dissertation i just wrote is now lost somewhere is cyberspace or nowhere for that matter. damn. can i redo what i just did...? no. i just tried and i can't get it back. i wrote and re-wrote and it just didn't come out the same. why? what do you really want? are we on ( Read more... )

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versus.

it's been forever since i've written. things have been ok. s and i seem to be at a rocky point in our relationship. i can't even really explain what it is that's going on. i can tell she doesn't like me as much as she used to. i asked her if she was still in love with me. she said "no". her excuse is that she doesn't like herself a whole lot ( Read more... )

long time since i've written. that's how i always start this. i feel like i've never anything to say no matter what is in my head. i don't feel like writing. when i do feel like i have things to put in here i'm never near a computer.

ick. i get depressed on the weekends for some reason. i don't know why it happens but it does. i don't write in here much. the reason i do not write much is because there are snoopsters who will read it and if they do the feelings of these people could be hurt. i don't want that to happen and this being a public journal then they have every ( Read more... )

still here. life is good. i'm not in a place i want to be. all that shit just find a little pocket of goodness. i wish somebody would give me $5000 is that a lot to ask? i mean, it's not like asking for a million dollars, now is it?

here i am again. it's been so long. i don't even know what i wrote last time. i imagine i was probably really sad about things with m. she spent almost a year ripping my heart out and stomping on it until it was dead. at the point where it all ended i really thought i was going to die. my brain was dead. i couldn't think or feel a thing. and ( Read more... )