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and another friend dies, since 2006 i have lost 3 grandparents, 2 ex-girlfriends, and 2 close friends.... wtf? -
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memories are ment to fade, but what if you dont want them to? what if you hold on to them past reason?
so much raw emotion cramed into the back of by mind, locked up for just a while longer, as long as i can hold it before i let it slip out again...
Love: strange, wonderfull, and horribe. all at the same time...
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broken hearted?
i sit tonight wondering if tommrow the doctor will find a hole between the chambers of my heart.... -
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my girlfriend sara has made the last month bliss, its about time i caught a good break =)
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another week of crippleing depression.... -
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Tomrrow Im going to Arlington for the funeral of my step cousin, who died in Afganistan about 3 weeks ago. Its been a rough few weeks. My uncle has Myelanomia in his eye, my grandfather lost his foot to diebetis. -
hypnotics + dreams
so last night i started on Trazodone, its pharmacology is really interesting an like most psych med the dont really know exactly how it works. its like a weak SSRI with a 10 -19 hour sedation and hypnotic trip. Usually I can never remember any of my dreams. last night I had an extremely vivid dream and remember it. it felt like a weekends worth of ( Read more... ) -
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Winter is always my most unproductive and nonfunction time, it set in this year on november 9th, on a bus heading down university blvd. I got off at tick tock liquor and got a bottle of gin and decided to walk the rest of the way. Luckly i was going to meet a good group of friends who would take good care of me. its been draging on since then, ( Read more... ) -
don't trust Seabass
so the at the Lost Boys feast which i missed this weekend Angus's carefully organized his acceptance Lothars challenge for King. It' feels warm inside tho know people who hate me are trying to figure out my plans =) -
BP or not BP?
so after haveing to drying out durring the last few days, i admit i might have a problem with alcohol. somthing else to work on...
BP never lets its guard down for that long, im going to be fighting the rest of my life. but considering that im still here, Ive good odds.