im done.

why does it have to come down to: well there's always that?

am i that fucking hopeless.

why do i freak out like its life or death when it isnt. but it feels that way.

i cant live up to any of my own expectations no matter how small they are.

and fuck. i feel like i cant do it anymore. anything.

time is running out. very quickly. and it sucks because yea im looking forward to going home, but im not gonna be happy if i fail all my finals...cuz then whats the point? why didnt i start earlier? Why wastn i responsible. im better now, as Im working under pressure, but im still scared its not all going to get done. i need to accept the ( Read more... )

im so scared.

if i can get through the next two weeks. and by "get through" i mean get everything i need to done, then everything will be ok. too bad i cant really see over the other side of this large mountain that are these crucial days. i must climb them. i must reach the summit. and then roll down the other side into bliss.

or something like that...

this whole waking up at 5 ( Read more... )

i have such a mixture of feelings right now.

im tired and restless.
and worried
really worried
and lonely but loved
hungry and unhealthy
scared and relaxed
unworthy
different
strange
comforted
confused and overwhelmed
burdened stuck lost
warm and cold
in my bed
and in my heart.

im going back to school tomorrow

im not sure how i feel about that.

i have so much work that i havent done. why dont i care? im really screwed. these next two weeks are going to be soo hard. i really need to push my ass. i have a feeling im not, but i know i need to.

um i dont know how i could forget to mention such an important piece of information.

IM SEEING JOHN MAYER IN S.F. ON NEW YEARS EVE.

i cant even explain how excited i am, and if you know me well, you dont need an explanation. you just know how much i love this man.

Thank you. that is all.

LOVE.

holy crap. my itunes has so much music that it could play for 6.3 days. thats a lot of music. a lot of what i love ( Read more... )