...because I don't have Marilyn Monroe's ass.

Why there must be something he was trying to say that got lost in translation...

...because we were on the phone for a half an hour and he just didn't get it. damn japs.

Disclaimer: I love all types of people. If you call me at work seeking something I can't give you, please disconnect and/or

So, my check engine light is on. And that sucks. I'm a little disturbed by that fact. Also, I happen to be running a little bit late for work. Okay, you with me? Then, I'm driving down M-59 and a damn Cadillac in the far-right lane starts weaving like a crazy person, cuts across 3 lanes of traffic (including mine) and ends up facing toward ( Read more... )

el grosso posto. averto teh eyes0rz
this morning i went to the bathroom before work and changed my tampon, only to find that the night before, i had not changed it at all...simply stuck another one up there as a cuddly little friend for the old one. that's right, folks, it happened to me.

On my morning commute, it is the infrequent occasion that I listen to a morning show on the radio. I did so today, and heard the headline that scientists may or may not have found intact blood vessels from a tyrannosaurus rex. Now, call me crazy, but for some reason that doesn't creep me out nearly as much as say, a lochness monster, a hogzilla, ( Read more... )

Yesterday I drove straight to my sister's after work, right? Okay, so I didn't have my phone on me, I was simply hoping to God she'd be home (for I really wanted to see her, but mostly because my bladder was throwing some kind of fit). Naturally, as is the norm in all my whimsy, she was not home and my bladder sorely disappointed. I drove the ( Read more... )

everything is pretty unclear right now. me thinks i move to egypt.

the play is over. i look forward to my next endeavor, whatever that may be. i guess i'm doing an improv murder mystery for one night next month ( Read more... )

today, between the hours of 11 and 12, 2 co-workers and myself went on what is called a "ride-and-drive."
vas ist das "ride-n-drive?" you ask.
it is where you drive to comet burger and get ice cream in the sunshine and get paid for it, in a brand-new vw jetta.
all in a days work.

slamming doors ( Read more... )

so yesterday, when i was out to dinner with some friends of mine who had come to see the play, these little old ladies who were also dining at ye old olive garden recognized me from the play and asked if they could take their picture with me. which i, naturally, obliged to. i must say, i do love the attention.