im between 103-105; i think .

fat as fuck, basically .
it looks like my legs are ENORMOUS, even more so than usual ... wtf ?
killmyselfffff .

ALSO; i am going to nyc in a little over two weeks . i wanted to be perfect for nyc, and i thought i had a month to seriously crack down and prepare myself . buuuut the date has now been moved sooner, and i'm ( Read more... )

so , today was a really good day .
i probably had ... 200 cals ? it's good :] usually i'd aim for less, but considering that i would habitually cave and binge , i'd say i'm doing well .
here's to a better day tomorrow ! :]

so i am in jamaica !! it's so hot and beautiful :]

but we have cooks and stuff .. with scheduled meal hours .. so i can't skip meals .
i'm sure i'm 107 now ... FCK .

butbutbuuuttt i purged tonight .. so maybe ? maybe i will not be such a fatass .. cause right now ... :|
ohgod, i hate my legs . the most . that's the worst part .

they're already thick ( Read more... )

okay , i caved .
the past two days, i binged ... without purging .
tonight, i purged .
i feel good ... but so guilty .
ouff .


( Read more... )

fuck this .
fuck it all .
i've never wanted to disappear more than this .
i hate myself .
i hate myself .

hermetic lips, pressing out the nocuous words and air .
holding it in .
keeping it out .
imprisoned in a state of mind of glass walls and limitations.
shatter , breathe , speak .

i guess im back in the writing part of me . i write sometimes, and then i'll get so frustrated with it that i just can't write at all . and i refuse to call that a writer's ( Read more... )

okay, i'm 103 .
i weighed myself today after a heavy bingepurge.
even though i bingedpurged later that night again, and i swear i almost got caught ... i am sort of scared .

but i guess i've been keeping it pretty well hidden for the past almost two years . it's only been intense for about a year anyways .

faaaasting now, & i got diet cream soda ( Read more... )

c;ovuhjdbm uat9cum[9WY8V 5QI4 J4Yhg8ot4ybvpge875A;P0WZGGYN8WSHXF

im a fat fckerrr ...
going to purge .
bye .

good day so far, i had :
- a coke zero ( and now im onto my second one )
- coffee with cinnamon and light soymilk
- a bunch of cinnamon hearts ... how many calories do you think they can possibly contain ? i mean,  i'm positive that they're entirely sugar .. but still . i'll google that or something .

tonight i'm going out with my friends, and one of ( Read more... )

okay, it's 7:34am .

i can do it .


( Read more... )