"I look like a goddamn monkey in this."

"You look fine. And please-- please-- watch what you say tonight."

"Ah yes. No Freudian slips about how nice it is to meet you, Mr. Hayden, and did you know your son likes to take it up the ass, sir?"

In the mirror behind me, Marshall visibly winced. "Yes. That's the sort of thing I'm asking you not to say ( Read more... )

Your Score: Julius Caesar

You scored 70% = Tragic, 34% = Comic, 19% = Romantic, 47% = Historic


( Read more... )

Attached to a wrapped package sent to the respected law firm of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt, care of Alan Shore:

Shore, I'd like you to have a copy of this.

I think you'll appreciate the stark, but evocative, prose. To say nothing of the quality of the illustrations.

Sincerely,
Paul Smecker

Link is NSFW, and word count obviously doesn't

"With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love."

Oh yes, that's me. Who wants a hug?

( full numerology meme behind cut )

When I was.... shit, I don't know how old; four or five, I guess? ...my mother got this couch that folded out into a bed. Yard sale spoils. Cheap, I'm sure. God knows it should have been, fucking thing was pretty as a buck-toothed hooker. Flowers, stylized; in blues and pinks and purples and greens ( Read more... )

Name three things that you're looking forward to in the near future and why.

One: May 18th, and the Boston Youth Symphony Orchestra's 50th anniversary evening.

Why I'm looking forward to it: Yo-Yo Ma. What's not to look forward to regarding several hours of God's own fucking gift to contemporary cello?

Oh, and they'll be playing Dvořák. My ( Read more... )

The Boston Herald: Here comes the truth in black and white.

The Herald's the one that called them Saints. I said angels, and fuck all if I wasn't right-- look it up in your Bibles, kiddies: angels slaughter wholesale, saints just get stoned to death-- but accuracy doesn't stand a chance against the power of popular perception, so saints it is, ( Read more... )

A lie my mother told me....?

Parents tell lies to their children to protect them from the harsh realities of the world-- or to try to, at any rate. (Whether that succeeds is irrelevant.) You know, things along the lines of No, Grandpa's not going to die. Or, when Grandpa does kick it, things like Well, Grandpa's just sleeping, and we'll see him ( Read more... )

Impossible.

Impossibilities. Things that don't make, can't make, any sort of-- aren't logical.

At the very best, what they're doing is pulling off astronomical long shots. At the worst-- impossible, that's all.

That two fucking idiots falling through a ceiling should be able to take out nine armed Russian mob fucks and not get scratchedThat a ( Read more... )

The Character Physically

1. What is the character's stature and build? Is he overweight? Thin? What is his height and weight?

Somewhere between 5'8" and 5'9", and about 150 lbs. He's lean but pretty damn toned for a guy his age.

2. How old is he?For RP/fic purposes, in his mid-to-late forties. I tend to fudge around a bit here because my Paul ( Read more... )