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:(
I am so done with this food thing. I am depressed and do not want to eat. I fought with my brother for something silly but it makes me so sad. So much has made me sad lately. What is there left to hope for? Except that my kidneys hurry the fuck up and die. Sleep now. ZZZZ -
Crap
Ok....so today I have to go somewhere where I did not EVER want to be again. I am sad to say that some demons from my past (and struggles that have been ongoing for 15 years) are back. Not in full force but enough to compromise my health. I am getting help. Eating disorders are NOT conducive to a healthy diabetic. :( I think it has to do with the ( Read more... ) -
ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Ohhhhhhh mmmmmmaaaaaaaaa gawwwwwwwwwdddddd.....I am soooooooo sick of food. I cannot even begin to describe it. I will try in point form ( Read more... ) -
:(
I am feeling like everyone is falling apart and she can't stitch them back together....I want to save them all and if I can't wtf is the point? I think that only about 2 people I know are happy right now. Well, I have a fuckiing hard time believing that this life is even worth it if no one is happy. I look to other people to see purpose. I hate ( Read more... ) -
Diabetes
So....it has been awhile as always. But once again I only blog when I am upset. I got diagnosed with Diabetes a month ago and it fucking sucks. I hate eating and I do not liek being forced to eat, I love to exercise to the point of exhaustion, I love chocolate and pepsi and I fucking hate cooking. Yeah...I feel bloated. -
FUCKING FUNGUS
Ok so I have not been having the best of times lately: the lawn looks terrible cuz the mower broke, there is fungus under my bed which is now destroyed, my class feels overwhelming despite being quite intriguing, I have no energy to finish my cleaning or gardening and I have like no money. This all blows.....why does it keep raining on me?? Argh -
Hideous
Hideous....I was told that I looked like this younger girl's MOM. This is not the first time this has happened either. Repeat in Asia: A lady thought I looked like my friend's MOM. Repeat at the Ex a few years ago: I was 25, he guessed my age at 32. Repeat in HS: I look like a grandma. Repeat elementary school: ugly face but nice body comments. ( Read more... ) -
WTF...
I hate feeling like this but it starts with something small. One person is ungrateful and then it spirals out of control that I feel I don't deserve thank yous. I don't deserve gratitude for my efforts. SO then I resolve not to go out of my way for people anymore, which I just can't do....it's not in me. And so I am squashed and taken advantage of ( Read more... )