know I'm on the right track now.

...with the decision I made to keep this house. On one hand, I know it would be best for me financially in the long run, and to have the security of my home while the biggest aspect of my life changes will probably end up being the greatest preserver of my sanity. I can't even begin to deal with the idea of moving right now, and the thought of ( Read more... )

So I got the first draft of my divorce papers today to review. Awesome. Reading the part about how my name will be changed back felt like an ice pick being stabbed into my chest. FYI, don't ever do this in the winter. It sucks. I feel like an emotional pinball right now. After I spent four hours in the yard today cleaning up shit that he was ( Read more... )

When, oh when, will I learn to stop trying to manipulate God's plan for me and just accept the gifts I'm given!?

I'm so sad I was right about the fact that if I stopped trying to hold our marriage together it would fall apart. On one hand I know maybe I should accept that the one who can should do, and keep doing just that. On the other hand I know one should not beat a dead horse. I'm just not sure if this horse is dead, or only mostly dead, and I'm ( Read more... )

All I want right now is for there not to be a dent on my fucking finger where my wedding ring was.

Miles is spending the night at a friend's house tonight so that "we" have time to think and decide if we are going to go ahead with a trial separation tomorrow. I suggested it, but I'm arguably not the one who wants it. I am confused, heartbroken, defeated, angry, scared, exhausted, and on top of all that I still somehow feel empty inside. I ( Read more... )

There is officially NO MORE MERCURY in my mouth. Woot! Not so hot is drooling OJ all over myself cause I can't feel my face. :(

Thank GOD you finally figured out how to screw the light bulb in and turn it on!!! You broke my heart, and I was so terrified it was the end. But really it was just the beginning. And that is all.

I want you, but I don't need you, and you, my friend, are on very thin ice.