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either this is for the best or just another wave passing me by
I am a mess. My life is a mess, although things have not been completely resolved with Luke and we are now on a break as I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had learned prior to the blow up with Luke that my landlord was looking to sell this place but had not made a decision till the day things between Luke and I got worse. These are two separate ( Read more... ) -
I'll earn your trust making memories of us
Making Memories of Us
Keith Urban sang this song to Nicole Kidman at their wedding reception. Whenever I hear it I cry… hysterically. I believed at one point Luke felt or could feel this way about me but this concept is dead to me now. By the time Luke receives the birthday package I have sent him he will beg for my forgiveness but it is over for ( Read more... ) -
this person is dead inside my heart
I try not to cry as I have done it so often but I am reaching the end of my rope as far as Luke and I are concerned. His opinions and feelings are often erratic (all over the place), and he never does truly think of how this is for me. I have not had a good nights rest since he was last here, and last night in a fit of panic and restlessness I ( Read more... ) -
no
He cannot treat me like shit and expect me to stick around to be tortured for another four months. -
there is a storm in my heart
The phone goes silent at two something in the morning after not hearing from him in days. I begin to say hello over and over again until I am sobbing, hysteric tears where I am crying from my soul and heart. I had started to cry on the phone with him although tried to keep a hold of it since I am trying so hard to be strong and know that when he ( Read more... ) -
take whatever you're giving
Wine soothes nothing. There is a vacancy that lives inside me, something that cannot be filled. My mind rushes back to the night where he grabbed my face desperately as we were fighting, and there were tears in his eyes when he said, “I want to marry you.” I slipped him a look of annoyance. I have heard this before I wanted to say. LIAR, I wanted ( Read more... ) -
crashing of a hollow heart
I fall between suicidal and lifeless. I don’t know which moments are better. I have the urge to slice my skin open, watch all these veins burst forth and see blood spill to the floor like an overflowing red sea. Strange how my lover is only miles from the red sea and these signs linger in the back of my mind. I want to die, for four and half more ( Read more... ) -
oh yes i will have them
So FYE has cut out boards of Johnny and Orlando in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. I will buy them. I will. Johnny and Orlando, life size in my room is enough to make my heart skip a thousand beats. -
my store
I've been working on an livejournal store for awhile now and I finally opened it tonight, although I have lots of things to add.
( Read more... )
