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High Anxiety
It's Friday evening and I'm waiting for Sean to get home so we can go to Jason's lake house for the weekend. I've been looking forward to it for weeks, and now I'm contemplating even going. I have been rife with terrible anxiety all day, and it has affected almost every part of my body. I'm wired yet exhausted at the same time, and my stomach ( Read more... ) -
Cookie
So I've been seeing this psychologist on a somewhat regular basis since June. She is very cordial and has given me some very practical insight as far as modifying certain behaviors and thinking errors, and I do enjoy the objectivity she affords me, but I don't think I can continue to see her. During one of my first appointments when I told her ( Read more... ) -
Throwing Muses
Tonight I got to thinking that this time last year I was penning a short story to submit to Kent State Stark's creative arts magazine, and lately I've felt the urge to write something again. I'm not sure if it is the snow and nostalgia that's inspiring me or if I just really miss writing enough to start again. I never used to have to wait for the ( Read more... ) -
Heartburn
I'm in one of the computer labs on campus, biding my time until I have to go to class. I always dread Monday nights. I have a two-hour biology lab with a very shrill, sometimes patronizing professor. She's tough and seems to get frustrated if we don't completely understand what we're supposed to be doing after giving us vague instructions and ( Read more... ) -
Dad
I just got home from picking up my dad and stepmother, Deanna, from the airport. Once we reached their house and got their luggage inside, I had a cup of coffee and stayed for a little while. I had a feeling my dad wanted me there, if only to talk about his trip to Arizona. I haven't had much of a relationship with him since he started dating ( Read more... ) -
Grade
I managed to get a 98% on the Spanish exam I took last week. I know I earned it, yet when I learned of the grades some of my classmates got, I started to feel guilty, and last night in class I even played dumb on a couple occasions because I didn't want anyone to think that I was intentionally making myself sound like I'm smarter than they are. ( Read more... ) -
School and things.
The fall semester is underway. I'm less than a month in and already exhausted. I am still working full-time and taking three classes. I don't know how some of my friends managed to take a full course load and work forty-plus hours a week - I feel so whiny and weak comparatively. I shouldn't measure my accomplishments and abilities against ( Read more... ) -
Blank
I had my first session with a psychologist yesterday. It's taken me many years to muster up the nerve to make an appointment, mostly due to my stubbornness - I had this notion that I could "fix" myself. -
Red
Thursday marked the end of the spring semester. I came away with all A's again, but this is getting tough. However, I did become rejuvenated when I learned that I received an academic scholarship through the university. It isn't much, but every little bit helps. I have taken out so much in student loans already, and I'm only halfway through my ( Read more... ) -
Resolutions
Yesterday morning I began to pen my resolutions for the new year. Though logically I know that one doesn't need something as arbitrary as a date to begin implementing personal changes, I've always seen it to be a very useful practise, even if by February we've failed at keeping most of them. It allows us to create an abstract of ourselves - ( Read more... )