I caught myself wondering today, do I check Li and Shanna's journals cause I want to be sure they're okay, or to be sure they're not talking about me? I'd like to believe it's the former, but Shan's not, and I didn't say a thing... What the fuck would I say ( Read more... )

I found it the other day. Look here. Nothing wrong with the skull, and no erratic movement from the spine. My brother turned the birds head gently from side to side. Nothing wrong with the chest cavity either. He pressed down on the bird's abdomen. And there's not a scratch on it. It died of natural causes. I found it and I was carrying it, and an ( Read more... )

So, yah, yesterday I left this house with the attitude that if I couldn't go fix this, couldn't set this right, I would die trying. Long story short, I died trying. It's hopeless. I can't get a thirty year old's job at age eighteen, I can't talk to my parents, I can't reason with my brother, and I can't draw emotion from someone who does everything ( Read more... )

AND YA KNOW WHAT ELSE ( Read more... )

I just typed for about half an hour, rapidly, ranting and screaming about the world and why I'm hurting so much. Then I looked at it, realized what I was about to do, and took great pleasure in murdering every damn word of it.

I chose this.
I'll hurt for it.
NO ONE else.

I am heaven sent ( Read more... )

I finally finihsed my new song, Skin, and now that Matt's out of the band with his nazi-esque take on slow songs I wanna see if maybe the guys will let me sneak an acoustic onto the regular set list. I doubt it though. Earlier I posted what might've been a short story or a journal entry, I dunno, but it was really fucked up and I apologize to ( Read more... )

The walls came down and it all fell apart last night... Now there's no saving it.

I could not hate myself more right now. I want to inhale my medicine cabinet.

The show is on for Saturday, I'm pumped but I'm nervous. I don't know if we'll be able to practice again before the performance and we're doing a lot of stuff we never have before, since it's all acoustic. The set list as of now is as follows ( Read more... )

This vacation's useless ( Read more... )