he called me today. maybe it had something to do with the fact that he could tell I was upset - that i needed to talk about some of the things that were on my mind, and how to respond to something I found out today. I sat there outside talking to him... i don't know if he understood what I needed to say, what I needed to figure out. Any other time ( Read more... )

so yeah, just got off of three hours of phone conversation with eric. *smiles* it was so random, and comfortable, and ... nice. we have all of these joint memories, but at the same time, nothing that really holds us together. we know so much about the other person, but still know nothing of the other person ( Read more... )

here is my promise to myself ( Read more... )

this journal is going friends only (private) until further notice. I simply don't want to share my angst with the world unless they feel up to hearing it. don't worry, I'll still post the funny, crazy things ( Read more... )

*laughs softly*
I keep waiting for some sort of response from him. I always have. maybe that was part of what was wrong. I needed something, something spontaneous, and he never saw that I needed that (am I talking about jeff here, or aar, or both?)

i really should have stopped dating with Philipp (or cale), they all went down hill after that. *

ahhhhhhhhhh ( Read more... )

i love my roommate ( Read more... )

she came today. it was good. and bad. and exhausting. she got lost trying to get here so I sat outside in the sun feeling... warm. she had brought me a new comforter cover (since I destroyed the last one... and we couldn't find the blue one). it is purple. then we went to get coffee. we sat outside and talked. we went to the zoo. I didn't want it ( Read more... )

I did it.
somehow I made it through the day.
I got maybe two hours of sleep last night - and I was sure I was just going to come apart at the seems but somehow I got through the chem test, four hours of work, a quiz and five hours of bio. it was a hell of a day, and tomorrow isn't any better: but I got through today.

third night in the row for fucked up dreams. the type where you remember them, but can't seem to make any sense of them. i won't try to recount them, as they are my special treasure (as much as I was freaked out, I loved them because they were a story, a piece of me, a place to wonder freely ( Read more... )