I feel like there is so much i haven't had time to write. I look back, and realize it's been over a week since i've written a journal entry. Things have been... up and down. Strange, sometimes incoherent. Scary. Wonderful. Last week I wore a dress a day. It was fun, i got to play out all of my fantasies of being beautiful, of having guys whistle at ( Read more... )

for those of you who i didn't drunk dial... and for those of you who i did, and need the pieces filled in ( Read more... )

There are pieces of today that I never want to think about again. That i will need to cope with in the morning, and I don't know how to yet. Instead, for a couple of moments, i'm going to think about the wonderful things ( Read more... )

and another night spent talking all night with him. I called him at 1:15, and got off the phone with him at 6:30. I have never known someone who i click so well with. And there are moments when it feels like he feels like it too, and the rest of the time i know he doesn't feel the same way as I do. So how am I going to cope. ... I want him to be ( Read more... )

Dear Asha ( Read more... )

i'm still quiet. wishing for the impossible - but i'm good at that aren't I? I wish that he could see what is here... but I'll smile, nod, tell him be happy and wait while I'm lost in his new found emotion ( Read more... )

Moment after moment I expose myself. Little things that grow until i'm unsure of what is me, and is what i say is me. Pictures on the web that show too much skin, fragments of conversations spread between people I"ll never know. Am I this? i keep wondering. I want to define that essential person I believe I am. Because some part of me is terrified ( Read more... )

i'm going to spend the rest of my life alone. Why don't I just accept that and accept that I'm supposed to be isolated and single. Whenever I want something, whenever it means something to me it disappears. Maybe if I stopped caring I'd stop getting hurt ( Read more... )

"and there is a love that's inherently given ( Read more... )

We talk for hours. Random things. Jokes we both remember. bits and pieces of our days. It's playful, intelligent, fun, sweet. And I know I care about him deeply. I listen while he tries to batter his way through someone he likes - complains that he'll never find the perfect girl, and I want to scream to him - maybe you have. Maybe our conversations ( Read more... )