I went home yesterday; literally home. I took my half day vacation (with Bob actually saying he found it suspicious) and I went to my apartment, fed Kit, and then hopped on the train and literally went to Oshawa. My Ma picked me up, we grabbed take-out Polish food from a restaurant literally called "Polish Food" and we went home. I sat in a ( Read more... )

I am so unbelievably tired ( Read more... )

Wtf. What is so wrong with me. Even Will bailed on me today. No text;no response. Wtf. Am I that bad??

I am not looking forward to this weekend.  I am not going to see Greg - he's going away to his friend's cottage.  And I am going to be just sitting there at home.  Heather is going away to London, so that's out.  I guess it's a movie marathon weekend.  Or maybe I can sit in the hammock ( Read more... )

I wish I could go back in time; there was this time at Harcourt Park, where my parents had a cottage, and I would drive up there and the feel of the ride, the sun on the lake, the sway of the deck while I laid on it suntanning...it was that time where I would relax in the summer ( Read more... )

I called my foster family to give them a heads up.  I know they are busy and have their own lives, but every time someone sees me or talks to me they have a freak out now ( Read more... )

Sometimes it is easy to forget that Greg and I are apart. It's been a week - I am not crying; i am not sad.  But, it's the calm before hand.  We talk every day and Facetime, and he's coming over this weekend.  It'll be when everything is unpacked and I have no one or no where to go ( Read more... )

You know when you realize you aren't "you" anymore? I was in the bathroom just now, and my legs...I've lost so much weight I am just not "me" anymore.  My legs belong to someone else.  My dress fits a bigger person.  My hair is falling out.  It is the color that someone else has.  I am not me anymore.

Yesterday was brutal.  Greg got me from the station, we went to Canadian Tire, then to the LCBO, then to the apartment in Oshawa, loaded the truck while I cried and had fits of anxiety.  He said to me that he is more worried about me now asking whether I feel any relief that the pain is finally going to be over; we've been living in a prison, he ( Read more... )

Thursday before I left for the move, my boss called me into his office. He asked where I was ... I said I went to lunch.  He said "you told me you were working through lunch" and I said "no, I said I would work through part of my lunch..." and he said that people have noticed I am "not at my desk" a lot.  And I said I have absolutely no idea what ( Read more... )