A Freak Like Me: Chapter 1, Part 2
When I turned 14 another change occurred.
SOS: (Harry) I started growing hair in unmentionable places!
BB: ....well, I have one thing to say: at least there's something that happens with every mutant in X-Men in this story. Powers usually manifest around the time of puberty. It's so nice to see one piece of canon in a shit hole.
SOS: Except this isn’t when his power manifests. It’s when he gets he starts screwing his first love interest-the Mike Newton to his Bella Swan.
They had received so many freaks merkin that there weren’t enough cages, they started doubling up. Of course they didn’t double up food, but…
My cage mate was a male freak merkin who insisted I call him Mike.
SOS: How terribly, TERRIBLY rude of him, not wanting to be called a freak! The audacity!
BB: Isn't it? I mean, people are supposed to do all that the Stu says!!!! His word is law.
SOCIOPATHY: 2 (You’d think he’d understand why someone would want to be called by name.)
He was a freak merkin because he could grow larger.
SOS: Power Perversion Potential, go!
BB: ....TMI.
And, y'know, that doesn't actually take much. Put on a good porno or give a guy a few minutes and he'll be "larger." ......I am so sorry. -Goes to wash mouth out with the scrub brush-
In his natural form he was larger then me
SOS: That's not very hard to do, dear. I'm larger than you, and I don’t even have one to compare.
BB: Not much to say there besides I think that the Suethor's trying to do characterization through physical traits and is failing as epically as Cassandra Clare did with anime.
and said he had been taken from his parents house. He told me all about the outside world, about how he had gone to school and rode a bike and eaten at restaurants. He created a fictional world for me.
SOS: ...I didn't know I was a fictional character!
WANGSTMUFFIN: 44
CONSISTEWHAT?: 3 (Harry AT LEAST had to have gone to school.)
BB: Me, either. Does this mean I can do anything?
SOS: ...Does this mean we can meet up with other fictional characters in crossovers? >.>
BB: ....I think so. Why?
SOS: >.> No reason. <.<
BB: Mhm. Riiiiiiiiiiiight.
I only barely remembered life outside of The Lab. He told me stories of his life.
He told me about his mother, about his father, and explained why The First Doctor had been so mad when I called him Father.
SOS: And...why would that be? Did he have a passionate hatred of priests? Are you ever going to EXPLAIN?
BB: Because Daddy Wasn't There. And no. We never get an explaination. Ever.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 47
CONSISTEWHAT?: 5 (He knew the concept of parents-he even got to see photos of his parents in this verse!)
I loved him. We comforted each other in our cage. Sometimes by holding each other and telling stories and sometimes he would show me pleasure. He twisted what the guards did to us until it was beautiful.
SOS: ....Because all rape victims need is a dick up their ass, and they'd be allll fiiiine. Right.
I HATE THE POWER OF THE HEALING COCK. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.
BB: -Pats your head- I'm going to address something. Rape victims are usually FRIGHTENED of sex after a rape. It takes a very long time for them to finally accept the rape and move on with their lives. IT DOESN'T GET FIXED WITH THE POWER OF HEALING COCK.
TRAUMA LLAMA: 4 (For all the times the Suethor fails in portraying trauma.)
“I’m going to break out.” He told me. I tried to dissuade him, begged him not to try; told him it was hopeless. There was no escape. He didn’t listen.
SOS: Uh, just asking...Harry is supposed to be the one we're supposed to root for, right?
You know, this spineless little shit who does nothing but sit around and mope and moan and has given up before he even started? We're supposed to like him over the guy who's making a proactive attempt to escape?
BB: Yep.
SOS: Well, FUCK YOU. Mike has been the most sensible character this far!
BB: And he only shows up a few paragraphs! I already like him the most.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 49
The next time the guards came for one of us, Mike attacked them as soon as they opened the door. I could hear fighting and gunshots for at least five minutes before they threw his mangled body back into our cell.
SOS: And you sat by, and didn't lift a single finger to help. And you claim to LOVE him. *Disgust*
SOCIOPATHY: 3
BB: Oh, that is love in this fic. At least, "love." Not TWU WUV!
“Heal him” the guards mocked me. He was bleeding from multiple gunshot wounds and tears streamed down my face. I cursed myself. I’d known better then to get attached to anyone. Hope and love had no place in the cages.
SOS: ....So...you're not even going to try? You're just going to sit there and moan about how much this is hurting YOU, instead of even TRYING to heal him?
Clearly, this is love.
SOCIOPATHY: 5
BB: But SOS, that would involve him DOING something.
Mike grabbed my hand and pulled it to his lips. He kissed it gently and I could feel his body weakening. “No” I whispered. It wasn’t fair.
SOS: Are you going to throw a foot-stomping tantrum and run back to your room and slam the door, now?
BB: I'm expecting it. I'm also wondering when there'll be any action. WHERE is the ACTION? And no, not the sex.
SOS: There...is action later. Very, very badly-written action. And...yeah...just wait until you see it.
I could heal myself why couldn’t I heal him.
SOS: Because you suck. That was easy.
Oh wait, no. It's just a Dead Herring.
BB: Because mutations shouldn't work that way? Because you don't know if your power extends beyond yourself? Wolverine's doesn't, and the only time it did was because Rogue had the power to absorb other mutants' abilities and she TOOK IT.
I could feel the blood cells die as they lay on the floor.
SOS: ...That's really not how blood cells work.
BB: Nope. But does the Stu here care? Nah. It's sufficiently angsty.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 50
I could feel Mike dying and I screamed.
SOS: Good to see we're sticking with 50s Horror Movie Heroine stereotypes here!
BB: (Monotone) Oh, no. Help. He's dying. Aaaaah. ...that's all I'm getting here.
Something unlocked as I screamed, and how I felt Mike was different.
SOS: Mike has a voice-activated chastity belt?
BB: If so, he shouldn't die. Then he can use it against the Stu here all the time.
I focused on the gunshot wounds and used his muscles to push out the bullets.
SOS: That is REALLY not how muscles work. You can't just clench hard and eject a bullet!
BB: Ow. Wouldn't that, oh, I don't know, kill his muscles? Wouldn't that tear and rip them further? Wouldn't this just cause MORE pain?
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 25 (Again, instant mastery of his mutation.)
Then I forced life back into the cells around the holes and willed them to close, and the damage the bullet had caused as it tore a path in his body to mend.
SOS: You. Forced. Life. Back. Into. Dead. Cells.
YOU JUST PERFORMED A RESSURECTION.
DUDE, ARE YOU EVEN SERIOUS.
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 26
BB: The Stu wishes.
Next I focused on giving his blood cells energy to replicate.
SOS: And now he's creating energy out of nowhere, violating god knows how many laws of thermodynamics.
ARE. YOU. EVEN. SERIOUS.
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 27
BB: Again, the Stuthor is.
Mike opened his eyes wide and I could feel strength returning to him. I smiled at him, a watery smile, and focused on healing his remaining wounds.
He sat up and hugged me as soon as I was done and we laughed in joy.
SOS: And there was rainbows and sunshine and puppies and unicorns everywhere. Blah, blah, blah.
BB: Don't forget the butterflies coming out of their asses and the happy background with everyone crying.
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 29
I didn’t laugh or even smile for some time after that.
SOS: Aaaaand it's right back into wangst.
This is NOT how you do a mood whiplash, you IDIOT.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 51
BB: I have nothing to say. This is rather standard. I'm just glad it isn't overblown with purple prose.
Once The Doctor learned what I could do now, he used Mike to test me. They would hurt him in different ways, using poison, fire, different metals. They electrocuted him and amputated limbs. I healed it all. Every time.
SOS: Oh, woe is you. How great is your burden. You're just suffering SO much here. Yeah, this is ALL about YOU.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 59
BB: Standard fare. Apparently, everyone thinks that everyone must have horrible angsty pasts to get a good, happy future.
But I got no more joy from it. No more laughter or hugs. Mike began to hate me.
SOS: Oh yeah, how DARE anyone not love you and fawn over you and think you’re just the Bestest Thing Ever? I can see why you bash Mike later!
WANGSTMUFFIN: 63
He begged me to let him die, cursed me and screamed at me, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t loose Mike, my love.
SOS: But you CAN stand aside and watch him get shot! That's how love works, alright.
BB: Of course. You can watch your supposed love go through horrible amounts of pain, but when it comes to YOUR pain at losing him, oooh, it's just too, too much to bear!
SOCIOPATHY: 6
WANGSTMUFFIN: 65
They tortured us and tested us until I failed. They cut off his head. I could keep his head alive, but I didn’t. Finally, I let him die.
SOS: HOW. HOW COULD YOU DO IT? All you can do is manipulate the body and its systems, and without ALL of the major systems, HOW THE HELL CAN YOU KEEP HIM ALIVE?? How would you feed the brain blood with all the arteries feeding into it has been SEVERED?
BB: The best I can think is he managed to keep the brain alive. But, without the rest of a body, that doesn't do much good. And it's more or less impossible still. So.....no real clue. Logic, I miss you. Everyone else's powers are logical.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 66
And they had finally killed my spirit. I never begged again, nor did I ever become attached to any of the others they threw in my cage for me to heal.
SOS: In other words, you became a BITCH. You're not hardcore, Stu, and you never will be. Stop trying.
BB: No, he was already that. He just admits it now.
SOCIOPATHY: 7
WANGSTMUFFIN: 67
SOS: Also, am I meant to believe that he was perfectly sociable and wuvs everyone after being abused and raped and demeaned for all his life and witnessed countless gruesome experiments, but one guy who he's lived with for a few months is what broke him?
BB: Like I said, Logic flew out the window a long time ago in this fic. If it hadn't, would this thing even exist?
The Doctor determined what my weakness was. I had to be conscious and cognizant to heal. I have to will my body and the bodies around me to act. If they take away my will, with drugs or with torture, then I won’t will it, and won’t heal.
SOS: So, basically, as long as he's aware, he's omnipotent? Figures.
BB: Not even a real weakness. You want to know what a real weakness is? Charles Xavier. He has a weakness of not being able to control too many minds at once. Maybe a maximum of seven at one time - just a guess. Any more than that and his power grows weaker, and KEEPS growing weaker with each person. Eventually, it just stops working if there are too many.
You know something? He can do that while he's asleep, too. He can listen to the thoughts of dreaming, sleeping people. But he has a limited RANGE during those hours. Either way, you don't HAVE to be concious to use your power. Shadowcat wasn't concious the first time SHE used HER power.
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 31
You may be wondering if I ever got out, like Alice did, eventually returning home.
SOS: STOP TALKING TO ME, STUTHOR. THE FOURTH WALL IS THERE FOR A PURPOSE.
BB: Stop reminding me of Alice in Wonderland. That's one of my favorite books from childhood.
I will tell you that yes, I did.
BB: No, duh.
SOS: SERIOUSLY, STOP TALKING TO ME. I CAME HEAR TO READ A STORY. NOT TO BE TALKED AT.
BB: Suethors love to talk to their readers. It makes them feel happy, for some reason. No clue why.
But I don’t have a cosy home to return to, and it wasn’t a close call like Alice, it was a massacre.
SOS: Because noooo one has EVER suffered pain like yooooou! *Rolls her eyes*
CONSISTEWHAT?: 6 (Didn’t you just say you returned home?)
WANGSTMUFFIN: 68 (God forbid you don’t get an absolutely PERFECT happy ending!)
BB: ...Okay, I'm going to mention something here.
There is a "technical" sequel to Alice in Wonderland. It's a video game called American McGee's Alice, and it shows Alice after she leaves Wonderland.
Her house has burned down and she's suffering away in an asylum because people think she's gone CRAZY.
I think that's a worse pain than this Stu has suffered because Alice literally lost it all - her mother, her father, her little sister, her HOUSE. And her sanity.
SOS: And let me guess: it was a million times more compelling than this crap.
BB: Yes. Because it was told in the most heart-breaking way, through flashbacks and images you didn't understand. A random mix-up of THINGS that told the full story.
Somehow some other, free, freaks merkins found out about the lab, and attacked.
SOS: Keep this in mind too, readers-Harry knows that free mutants exist.
BB: I feel like there is an over-use of the comma in this fic.
The Doctor ordered the guards to “take care of the evidence” and left. The guards turned their guns on us. They killed everyone and there was nothing I could do.
SOS: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TRY TO DO ANYTHING! YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO FIGHT!!!
SOCIOPATHY: 8
WANGSTMUFFIN: 69
BB: And this is the future, too, everyone. The Stu never does a thing.
I cried for the first time in years, but they were angry tears.
SOS: Well, that was helpful.
BB: Isn't it? I mean, it's just telling us he wants to angst.
WANGSTMUFFIN: 70
When a guard turned his weapon on my cage, I wanted him to stop moving, and his muscles complied.
SOS: So you're telling me that you sat by and let them kill EVERY MUTANT THERE...and only tried to do something when it was your turn? And you're supposed to be the HERO?
BB: No. That is not how your power works. It's for HEALING. You've ESTABLISHED that it's HEALING. You can't suddenly have the power to make everyone your puppet....O.O .....it's Puppetmaster Harry.
SOS: Yes, it is. And it gets worse. His superpower count ends up somewhere in the dozens, I believe.
BB: NO. Yes, I know, by Comicverse that mutants can have multiple powers. But they ALL RELATE TO THE FIRST POWER. Barring Wolverine's, because HIS METAL CLAWS WERE GRAFTED ONTO HIM.
SOCIOPATHY: 9
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 33
I blinked, shocked, and then smiled maliciously.
SOS: Our hero, ladies and gentleman. Look how he tramples all over freewill.
NO, YOU CANNOT SAY HE'S DOING THIS IN SELF-DEFENCE, BECAUSE HE'S CLEARLY GETTING OFF TO IT.
HE. IS. ENJOYING. THIS.
IT WILL PROBABLY STAR IN HIS WETDREAMS.
SOCIOPATHY: 10
BB: I think we need a pic.
I willed him to turn to his fellow guards and pull the trigger on them. He killed at least 10 before one of his comrades caught him in the head.
SOS: Mass-murder for the Greater Good! Boy, is this Stu shaping up to be a great hero!
BB: Senseless murder. Kill the STU!
SOCIOPATHY: 21 (One count for every body count.)
I had been able to force his body to ignore the shots to his legs, arms and chest, but without the brain, I didn’t have enough focus to make the muscles continue moving.
SOS: AND YET WITHOUT THE ENTIRE BODY, YOU CAN KEEP A HEAD ALIVE???
BB: Can't you just HEAL THE DAMN BRAIN?
CONSISTEWHAT?: 7
SOCIOPATHY: 22 (Oh, that’s the only reason you stopped? You would have used his dead body as a personal zombie slave if you could, huh?)
I willed another guard to take up my cause. Then a thought occurred to me and I attempted to divide my focus between two guards.
SOCIOPATHY: 24
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 35
SOS: BB? Brace yourself. Because the bitchiest, most unbelivably sick line comes next.
BB: -Gets the SWAT team helmet, the riot baton, and a video-
Us freaks merkins had been their entertainment for years, now they were going to dance to my will.
SOS: I don't think anything needs to be said at this point.
SOCIOPATHY: 30
WANGSTMUFFIN: 71
BB: Stu, I wish this treatment upon you. (Video is VERY NSFW.)
Click to viewENJOY knowing what it's like to be a puppet to someone else's will!
Eventually I had five guards under my control, and all the others were dead.
SOS: FIVE. ON HIS FIRST TRY. FIVE.
BB: Say it with me, everyone - Limits~! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM.
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 40
SOCIOPATHY: 32
I willed four of them to walk around the cages and sifted my focus between their eyes. I learned that I could see what they saw, hear what they heard, and feel what they felt
BB: Your power is HEALING. NOT MIND READING.
SOS: For an actually GOOD execution of that, please refer to The Darkest Hour.
SOCIOPATHY: 33
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 41
but I couldn’t access their thoughts.
SOS: Well, there ya go!
BB: That doesn't help.
SOS: He at least waits until the two chapters later to claim he can access people's minds!
BB: That might possibly help.
SOS: Not that he’s doing a very good job of not claiming it right now. Sensations and emotions are a part of our freaking thoughts, you MORON!
There were no other freaks merkins alive.
SOS: BECAUSE. YOU. DID. NOTHING.
BB: ............WHAT ABOUT THE MUTANTS WHO BROKE IN?! THEY'RE ALIVE. GOD DAMMIT.
SOS: Also, if it just me or does that sound like he ordered the guards to go around before he came out of his cage, in order to shoot any survivors?
BB: Nope, it sounds exactly like that.
SOCIOPATHY: 35
The fifth guard, I had open my cage. They escorted me out and I used their mouths to answer any questions posed to us.
SOS: That's it. The Stu is officially a Yeerk.
BB: Animorphs, come get him.
SOCIOPATHY: 37
Fortunately, my freak merkin ability only glows when I'm healing.
SOS: Whyyyyyyyy?
BB: Why does he need to glow? Why does he need to BE HERE? WHY IS THIS WOMAN PISSING ALL OVER HARRY POTTER'S CHARACTER! THIS ISN'T EVEN HARRY POTTER ANYMORE.
No one noticed anything was wrong.
SOS: The fact that the guards who have been ordered to KILL EVERYONE is escorting a mutant outside isn't evidence of something being wrong?
BB: Not in this world.
They escorted me out of the compound and once out I shimmied up a tree and returned them to the base.
SOS: Oh, that's nice of him. I expected he'd kill the guards.
BB: They'll die when they get back to the base anyway. No survivors means no survivors. Even the guards.
I made them kill everyone I could find
SOS: NEVER. MIND.
BB: See?
SOS: I presume he includes the people who broke in, in that statement. How grateful you are, Stu.
BB: Especially considering who those people ARE.
SOCIOPATHY: 40
and when no more normals beards came running out of the lab, I turned their guns on themselves.
SOS: And he doesn't feel a HINT of remorse.
You know, the CIA knew Sands was fucked up in the head when he didn't need counselling after killing his first guy. So what does that say about you, darling?
BB: It says he's as psychotic as Sands.
THAT IS NOT GOOD.
SOCIOPATHY: 45
Then I laughed, until I was horse and started walking through the forest. I did feel bad about a few of the normals I'd killed
SOS: YOU. WERE. LAUGHING.
WE DO NOT BUY THIS BULLSHIT.
BB: We're supposed to buy this? Really?
SOCIOPATHY: 46
CONSISTEWHAT?: 8
but, most of them had been guards who'd used me and killed Mike. I had no pity for them.
SOS: But he did have an unnecessary comma.
BB: Poor, poor comma.
We still love you, at least.
SOCIOPATHY: 50 (MOST OF THEM. MOST OF THEM. That implies there were at least a few who were innocent!)
I walked for miles, until I was too weak to heal my bleeding feet.
SOS: So...he's too weak to do anything after a few miles' walk. ...I can see how he can be an asset to the X-Men
BB: Ain't he just a delicate little flower?
CONSISTEWHAT?: 10 (He certainly wasn’t too weak while starving to death in the cages! And didn’t he have the power to create energy out of nowhere?)
Just before I passed out, I felt a body signature coming my direction. I hoped it wasn’t a guard or a Doctor
SOS: And that's the end of the chapter!
No doubt the Suethor thought that was a cliffhanger, but we all know what's going to happen.
Join BB and me next time, as we first see the X-Men!
BB: Yeah. -Sighs- She's going to shit all over the best guy ever. LOGAN, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. DON'T FALL FOR HIS TRICKS!
FINAL COUNTS:
CONSISTEWHAT?: 10
SOCIOPATHY: 50
CANON: UR DOIN’ IT RONG: 41
WANGSTMUFFIN: 71
TRAUMA LLAMA: 4
YOU WHORE: 6
Go Forward to: Chapter 2, Part 1
Go Back to: Chapter 1, Part 1