I am here in Oregon, it's beautiful i love it but I hate it at the same time. I hate feeling out of my element, I hate the fact that everyday i wake up all i wanna do is leave. I know this will go away i know its just me being homesick that makes me feel this way. I am doing all i can to stay busy and just do what i can to try to enjoy myself. I  ( Read more... )

Today charlie was put to sleep, i woke up early to spend one last time with him in the dog park, while we were walking over there i had a glimpse of how i do believe and will always believe there is more to life then what meets the eye, more to death then i can even comprehend. Last night my mom was praying to my grandpa to look out for charlie ( Read more... )

Today is the day and everything hurts :(

Tomorrow Charlie gets put to sleep i can barely breathe i hurt so bad, i really just wanna crawl under a rock and dissapear for awhile, i feel horrible and can't stop crying..... bleah this sucks

My Parents let me know today that there dog charlie they have to have put down basically cause he has a seizure disorder and it causes him to attack people dogs anything. I am so freaking sad don't think i have ever become so attatched to a dog in my life. Even stating this makes me wanna cry :(

I decided it's time to quit smoking, i wanna be able to run and jump and be physically active without having to stop to breathe, i wanna live a long time, i wanna be able to wake up in the morning without hacking shit up, i want my ear infections to go away and my circulation to be better. I don't want to be physically addicted to anything!!!! and ( Read more... )

Move to oregon is four months away so close i can taste it.....

I am doing it in the process of finding a new job... yes indeed time for a change

I am Emily
I am 26 years old
I used to be fat and now i am an average weight
I used to do drugs and now i dont
I used to be vegan now i am vegetarian
I am a good friend
I am selfish i know and accept this about myself
I have had meaningless dumb sex and regretted it the next day
I Have drunken text message many times and very much regretted it the next day
( Read more... )

in catching up from that last post things are fine i am fine everything is fine. I think conclusion is i have a problem i cant be happy with myself unless someone of the opposite sex is showing interst in me, i hate i am this way because it is a terrible way to live life and this i know but im trying to change and grow and trying to love who i am ( Read more... )