wow its been forever since ive updated this thing. its seems ive got alot going on in the way of school and shit. bowling is over now thank god it was fun but took up way more time then bowling ever should. it will be good to get back to tech and shit. i have a boyfriend now hes pritty much amazing im not gonna lie. ill be 18 in like a week thats ( Read more... )

its getting hard to stay positive. i feel sick all the time i just want to be able to be a normal kid. they dont know wahts wrong with me and things are only getting worse. the idea of turning back to old ways seems to creep into my head every day. its just getting hard to say ill be ok

so they idenified the remains as rickys so it brings closure on the event if nothing else theres a memorial tomorrow im going to at 730 hoping it will help sort out all the shit im feeling

i found out today that rikkys paretns killed him. im kinda bummed out about that and angry. it was 80 hours trying to do something good only to have it thrown back in my face its just discuriging that people could do taht and make a big fuss over somthing that was all a big lie. im cought between a few emotions now and i just dont know waht to do. ( Read more... )

we lost our bowling match today oh well it was so much fun i love most of the team. i saw steve today witch was really cool yay for seeing old friends. i won both of my points witch was sweet. the but ride wasnt quite the same and phil came witch never happens. but it was an over all good time. yesterday i felt amazing but i didnt feel great today ( Read more... )

semester started today im pritty stoked about my classes. still dont feel good but i had a lot of energy today so meantaly i was alot better off witch was sweet. i had energy and all that shit. not im kinda tired. and i ahve to go to practice and babysit tonight so ill be home around nine goody for me. im in 6th hour now my seconde aid hour of the ( Read more... )

so i made it through finals week yay for that. im gonna miss some of the kids in my classes cause pritty much every class is changing. im gonna miss the music and the atmosphere of my art class. i hate the teacher and i hope she dies but the class wasnt too bad. choir isnt changing and if it wernt for new york i would be out of there soo fucking ( Read more... )

so im still sick i cant wait for the day when i dont feel like shit. i have 3 blood tests on wednseday. im starting to feel like a fucking lab rat there during my choir final i told wango and he had a fucking cow and i dont even care. the play this year is bullshit i just dont understand that at all. but what the fuck ever. i just want to feel ( Read more... )

that was really weird i just got off the phone with a kid and he just learned alot about my life that not many others know anything about. it was just bizare things about all the shit ive gone though and i somehow managed to come out on the other side with no lasting damage. i just hate remembering that shit. idk it still seems wrong that with all ( Read more... )

im never going to fucking forget what you did to me. i was 3 and 4 what the hell is wrong with you. its been some 15 or so year now and i still cant tell anyone the truth. what you did fucked me up in more ways then you will ever know. but i know u are a successful person now you did somthing with your life. and i cant bring my self to destroy your ( Read more... )