I was just complaining to that boy about how much time I spent outside today and still got No color. He responded with, "You don't tan because God knows how hot you are pale. He's seen you're white ass and he likes it."

Oh man. Perfect. The most perfect thing a boy could ever say. <333

I got drunk last night. I made a drunken spectacle of myself once again. I fell off a porch, wrecked my ribs and back. I said a bunch of things I shouldn't have. I didn't drink much, I don't know what is going on. I'm done drinking for a while until I can figure what keeps happening.

Don't let the grown up delusion fool you. It's all an illusion. I'm the same girl I have always been. I like boys with pretty eyes and a buzz cut. I'm a sucker for sleeve of tattoos. When I see something I want, I must have it. I thought I was someone new. I thought I was a girl who had finally settled down. Let me give you a heads up kids, people ( Read more... )

He's hiding something. I feel it.

I had a great weekend at home. I came home to Salem and headed straight to the cape to surprise Susan and see Liz. The hardest part of going to the Cape is leaving. I love it there, it settles my soul. No matter how screwed up things are in my life at that moment, the cold cape air puts everything back in place. I stopped in Boston on the way home ( Read more... )

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I want this to fucking work. I want to not get upset by kyle. I want to be over this and ready for something new. I want HIM to be interested. FUUUCK.

I just woke up out of a dead sleep. I was scared and shaking and completely unaware why. I think it was a panic attack. I have no job and I think I'm scared. fuck. My heart is still going a mile a minute.

I'm going to miss liz madden. I dont want her to leave. Drunkness, art time, sharing dessert....*tears*

I am worth it. I am beautiful. I am talented and full of promise. I have so much love to give. I deserved to be chased. I'm a fucking catch. I will find someone who loves me for me and wants to be with me because they relieze that I'm a supportive, loving, passionate, beautiful and trusting person.

I just want one person in my life to come through like they say they will. Thats all I want. I'm so sick of being let down. I'm tired. I'm really tired of all of this.