Been a while sice I wrote here... Guess I just figured I would give a brief explanation: my aunt passed away and my relationship has drawn to a close. I still think it reasonable for someone to want time apart after the ending of a relationship. Some people seem to think it's not reasonable... Anyways, it's not a big deal; have to go to class now. ( Read more... )

Cold. That's what bad feels like, isn't it? Well it must be bad tonight. I'm sitting on the porch of my beloved so I can borrow her wireless internet access to try and work things out... Sometimes I wonder if the whole 'people' thing is worth the effort. it all leads to the same place no matter what route you take.

Michelle is so wonderful, but she finds life so difficult. She's a beautiful thing, someone I love so dearly, and I wish I could help her, I mean really help her. I can't though. I only hope someone else can because I don't want to lose her. She looks to guidance from those who are gone. I'm so scared one day she's going to tell me she's going to ( Read more... )

I was ont op of the world today from 4:30 in the morning to 6:30 in the morning. I was riding my horse in his western saddle, wearing my cowboy hat on the top of a hill beside a street near my home. On the way back he decided to take it at a faster pace (being a canter) and I felt like I was flying (not an uncommon occurrence where Prince is ( Read more... )

I haven't been here in a while... I remembered why I don't leave journal entries the way I write them half the time. So many times what I feel and what I know are different. I feel one way until I sit back to look at things, then I know it's wrong, and gradually come to feel differently ( Read more... )

Am I some kind of moron?? I really overvalue myself.. It's because she said it once.. She said I'd given her reason to live, but she lied... And now I'm useless, and it hurts to be useless, and so often wrong.
michelle...

There was a time that I didn’t say what I do now. I said very little at all. What happened to those days? I miss them. Sometimes I think the worst mistake I ever made was opening up to people. It seems like everything I do is wrong in one way or another. What if I hadn’t been a talkative person in eighth grade? Would I retain the friends I had in ( Read more... )

I am at Michelle's house using the internet on my laptop for the first time. It brings me great joy.
^^
*Is smiling and for some reason visualizing herslef as an overweight, and very content, cheshire cat.*
I named her Red. Now I have two children; Prince and Red.

I forgot. I read one of Michelle's recent entreis. She still feels like killing herself. Somehow I had hoped that maybe she would find the world a more bearable place, that maybe I would be a reason to want to live... but maybe Love is not strong enough for that, or maybe I just overvalue myself. Etiehr way, it was hard to read, and a world without ( Read more... )

My laptop gets here on Monday... Argh, I have to wait.
>For some reason I always feel like Micha's doubting me or dissapointed in me. It's hard to think she's pleased with me, no matter the occasion... Maybe that's a standard I have set for myself. Maybe it's because she doesn't express her happiness abuot anything much... anything aside from ( Read more... )