She's tired of waking up worrying about me, I did that for months, because I thought I wasnt good enough for her and I was just some loser she kept around because she coudlnt make any good friends, who hadnt turned their back or lied to her. Sure, I have lied...but so have you. But I never lied when we first met, it was pure to me. And bam, stuck ( Read more... )

I've had a lot of things go through my mind lately. I feel very idly alone most of the day after work. I try to stay in trouble so I don't worry as much. I've been trying to smile more...I finally noticed the only time people talk to me and smile back is when I've drank some first...so I've just been trying to smile more in my normal days...though ( Read more... )

I am not functional today. I've been very sad, mad and more angry. I always try to talk to people at work figuring that would be the easiest way to make a friend (if they dont have anything against age) but some people think I'm funny....most would say "he walks like he doesnt have a single concern" Yeah right. But any way...I try to be friends ( Read more... )

I layed in a dark room for a hour and half thinking...I get so caught up in thoughts or ideas, I run with them and don't see the consequences until I'm already in the hole. I was also thinking about moving...having my own space, that would be nice...I think that's one reason I fight so much with Stefani sometimes...because we're crammed together in ( Read more... )

I'm tired of being at this house. My brother is the king of losers, well, that doesnt make much sense...the loser of the losers, there, thats better...well, considering he gets everything he needs and no discipline...it's kind of like the kings and queens loser prince. My dad has been gone a couple of days on a trip to somewhere I think...It's ( Read more... )

I'm feeling the heat right now...saw devils rejects earlier, kind of killed my whole good mood watching that movie...right now I'm just trying to deal with my crap...I should be more tough...but then 30 minutes later, I'll forgot I ever thought that and go "wow, yeah, why did I let that slip my mind again?"

I cant explain how I feel.....but....it feels great...I dont have much to say...and I dont want Stefani to read this lame online journal and think it's all about this...it's not...I just dont have any other way to express it at this time....I just...have recently had deeper feelings for her come to the surface. When I think about her...it's pure, ( Read more... )

I went to Josephs today and "hanged" out...it made the hours go by quickly...but whats on my mind is something totally different, let me start with my day ( Read more... )

going crazy. going crazy..I see my success...but I walk in shame, I walk in shame! I see this firy flame! oww, it ryhmes!!!!!!! haha!

I'm very tired. maybe a hour and a half of sleep...and I woke up about 30 times...so is that really a hour and a half? I'm about to go make up all that sleep!