went over to carmens yesterday
he made me bbq chicken and mac and cheese for lunch.
and we fell asleep on his couch

and last night we went to wendys
and then to walmart in manahawkin = creepy as hell and dont go there ever.
rite aid.. saw someone hit someone elses car.
ocean gate boardwalk <3. i burst out in emotion about everything ( Read more... )

Its about that time.
Where I feel absolutely amazing.

I feel like I'm in control.
I feel like I have goals.
Like I'm going to get somewhere.

I feel like I know what I want and why and when and how. 
I feel my life coming together.

The only thing is money.
And my job is pissing me off. the people i work with are such IDIOTS.

But I know that. Money is fine.. ( Read more... )

I fucking hate my boss.

I have been working towards this,
having a team since i was like 8 years old.

i have been working since i was 14.
i worked four saturdays 9- to fucking 3 
which YES is a big fucking deal cause saturday
kids are retarded as hell

and ive worked over like 800 birthday parties
on sundays. ive given so much time to him.
i worked 6 days a ( Read more... )

i feel it again
that feelings that
makes me feel
empty inside.
the only that feels
like all of the negativity
in this world is sucked
up and absorbed through
my mind and my skin
and through my fingers 
and toes and my tears
are poisonous enough
to drop in a cup of water
and kill myself with a sip

school work 
work work
school school

You know what. we're all grown up now ( Read more... )

dying.

Tuesday ::
poptarts on the grill, smores and hotdogs for breakfast?

Got to the campsite and set up in between the rain. It
was nice. We went out to go for pizza because the 
weather sucked and we were all bummed out and said
Fuck it... We're getting pizza.

So as soon as we get back and start eating pizza my uncle
calls and tells us to watch out for the ( Read more... )

Guys are really stupid. 
They really are.

I'm about to be lesbian.
I wish I had a friend that
went out clubbing like every
weekend.

Lets get drunk together.

My New Priorities ::

-Family

-School

-Friends

-Work

-boys.

No Boys. Ever. Again.
How could I let this happen.
After so long of refusing to even talk to the kid..
I did.
and I actually believed that he was ready for a relationship.
when people told me that definitely isn't true.
Yet I let him in.
And now he realizes he's not ready.
That the marines come first.

Am ( Read more... )