i know i worry too much, but it's sorta hard when you're feeling rather insecure. All i want to know is why? Things seemed to be going really well. And now there's this feeling of dread. I wasn't expecting this and i really hope I didn't jump the gun on this one.

blah

I think i'll give it til monday. . . .

I'm lonely.

I can't believe i've gotten myself into this same predicament. It's sorta pathetic actually. I am even actively trying to find something else and my silly reasoning for not letting it work puts me right back here, more determined than ever. Perhaps it was a bit different before because I wasn't necessarily afraid of losing something. Now, I'm ( Read more... )

It's been quite a long time since I've posted anything in here. I wonder if anyone would even notice that I posted anything ( Read more... )

Lately, I've had this desire to start over. Fresh. New. But more than that, I want to go back to certain moments and change a little thing (be it what i said or what i ate or how i reacted) and see how things would have turned out. I only want that because I find it so hard to start over right now. It might take some really slow steps, but I hope I ( Read more... )

The conundrum of travel: always glad to get away, always happy to return. My trip to Vermont was revitalizing, really. I had such an amazing time without doing anything particularly spectacular. The surprise went over without a hitch. Amanda had been prepping them all week of a gift she was picking up from Burlington on Monday. So when I arrived, ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm wasting away. I can't get it off my mind and yet I know I shouldn't make a mountain of a molehill. I've lost all my courage . . .

depression sucks

Rant ( Read more... )

I can be so focused sometimes it scares me. I want one thing and that's it. Once I have it, move on. Fixated, really. I've gotten the last two things I desired. But this one eludes me. I don't know how much longer I can do it. I mean, i'm seriously trying here. Hardcore. We'll see i guess ( Read more... )

Fuck. I guess I knew it was coming. I mean, look at how i reacted earlier. It should have been obvious. But we never notice anything while we're in the moment. Only looking backwards do we see the obvious. However, I do not know where to go from here. My normal "advice person" is out. Runner up is no good. And this situation is bad. I have several ( Read more... )