UUGGGHHHH. ok so this has never freaking happened to me. i was going to hook up with this totally hot freaking dude. and i felt NOTHING. like NOTHING!!!! and now i feel GUILTY as FUCk. this is horrible. now i have to know what the fuck is up between me and him. i have to know cuz this is horrible. i totally thought iw anted him and FUCKKKKKKK

The things i said i would do i did. now im wondering if it was the right choice. i jumped the gun. i made it happen. that is what i beleive you are suppose to do make things happen. but i think it may be the wrong choice. i asked him not to go back home. and well of course he did. which didn't bother me. him leaving, again, didn't bother me. but ( Read more... )

ok so i have him. i have him comptlely. its what i wanted. its what i wished for. and suprisingly i dind't even try. so why is it that its out of sight out of mind with him. i have this huge complex of getting a guy to fall and then being over it. mostly because i fall for him so early on then by the time he falls i've moved on. i don't think thats ( Read more... )

so i amt hinking of going up and seeing jacob. i decided this. but now all my dreams are bad. just things he could say taht would ruin me or things taht could happen, like him having a girlfriend. or just ahh. thats what i have been dreaming about. and its ruinning my days. plus i have david he is such a nice sweet guy and if i go up there and ( Read more... )

I'm over people. im tired of people. i can't take thema ny more. and sadly its the people that are closes to me that i am over ( Read more... )

ok so that boy has got me straight trippen ( Read more... )

ok so am i really suppose to feel bad ( Read more... )

the games. the games. i reaize games are needed. it makes it worth it, when you come out the winner of the game. but that has alwas been my thing. I HATEPLAYING THE GAMES OF DATING. soooo verry pointless. and ugghhh.

somedays, no matter how perfect they are, i just want to be invisible ( Read more... )

so he knows. there wasn't a good and there wasn't a bad. it was neither. and i think that is the best way to go about it all. nothing changed, i don't think and it didn't get great but it got there. it was realiving. plus i told him he had one free pass where iw ould take all my walls down ( Read more... )