today is wonderful, tommorow will be hell. im leaving richmond tommorow, ian will be back at school in three weeks and d. groves gave me the final "you are never coming back here" answer, he said i am a low calibur student and the quality person he wants at his school. i want so badly SO BADLY to make him understand what an unimaginable asshole he ( Read more... )

oh MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! MY DAD IS LEAVING US THE APARTMENT OVERNIGHT TOMMOROW, HE TAKING ROBERT TO KNOXVILLE WITH HIM.....HES LEAVING AT 1 TOMMOROW AND WILL BE BACK AROUND 2 ON SUNDAY....HOW AM I SO LUCKY!!!!ITS TOMMOROW,FUCKNG TOMMOROW, OH MY GOD, IM GOING TO DIE!!!!!

so ian is here in a mere four days, it takes 2 sleeping pills to put me to bed at night and a large shot of expresso with a newport at starbucks to pour me out in the morning. it take a lot more for my heart not to explode within my chest. time is slow and fast and at a standstill for once, i dont think theres anthing i want more than to wake up ( Read more... )

so ian will be here in six days, istartedsmoking again, i have tosayitcalms my nerves immensely, after reading the harry potter book and seeing "run lola run" i gave him a long serious lecture (in the form of a letter) about how he must never EVER be brave and put his life on the line to save others, never go back to cats in burning buildings, but ( Read more... )

i just realized that my favorite memory with Ian is one when he caused me severe physical pain, it wasnt the pain i liked, it was way he treated me afterwards, how loving, sweet and attentive he was. how i have never felt that safe and protected as when the person who just hurt me, folded me into his arms to make sure that nothing else ever would. ( Read more... )

oh why cant i be what you need ( Read more... )

i cant tell if this is my selfishness this not, i got a call from ian this morning. he wants to come home. not just from summer school, but for go good. go back to freeman, which would mean i'd see him EVERY weekend. but i cant tell if its because oak hill genuiely sucks, or if because he knows im miserable here without him. i could never forgive ( Read more... )

well im glad to know everyone enjoyed my pictures enough to ask that they be removed.......maybe ill update later, right now i cant say im in the mood.

life sucks.

for sophie:
christina self
751 mallet hill rd\
apt.3208
columbia,sc
29223