I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. Caro sends me a text this morning that says "Just remember it's your brain affecting your body. You are ok. You will be ok." But what do I do when my body is breaking, and my brain is already broken? I don't know; I don't know what to do. A phone call at 8 am and I lied. I was half asleep, but I ( Read more... )

Hi there, life. Please don't allow me to have another nervous breakdown, because I don't think I can handle it ( Read more... )

I have a serious problem with the severe problem that happened last night. Does that make sense? I didn't sleep at all, but Katie slept with me and that made everything so much better. Also, Caroline come here. I miss you.

I took the test. Eight days to see the results. I can't wait. I crave talking and listening but it is hard, hard, hard and all I seem to do is argue. I push and I pull and then I want to go back and can't wait. Time moves so slowly.

I just want you to know that I love you, and miss you, and I'm sorry. I feel guilty and terrible and mean. But ( Read more... )

She tells me I am sick. Or rather, that she doesn't know for sure but all the questions and more importantly, all of the answers, point in the right direction. At first, I am scared, then immediately relieved. There is a name for this, there is name for what I am feeling. What I am thinking, what I think about. Then I am reeling, comparing this to ( Read more... )

I miss you. I miss you so much. This has got to stop.

I don't know what to do about this one. I did some research, and maybe (?) you are a bit more perceptive then I think. I need to give you more of a chance I think, even if you tell me things that make me hurt. People get hurt from time to time. Thinking is fine, just not racing thoughts. You are right. But this is terrifying. I am terrified. I don' ( Read more... )

"You are wrecking havoc on your body, so much that you are losing bodily functions. You are a nice person but you have spent your whole life protecting everyone, protecting the world from itself. People get hurt from time to time. You wanted someone to take care of you and hug you and love you and tell you it's going to be okay. You had flashes of ( Read more... )

When it comes down to it, I really just want everything, and can't really have anything.

I guess I can be content with this?

(I don't want to be taped next week). Waah.

Seriously, okay, the idea of being a cat lady is very depressing ( Read more... )