It would be nice if I could convince you... if I could say something that would just make you stop thinking this way. Even if you're growing more slowly than the others, you are growing, and you can make it....
But that's not what you want, is it.... You just want your fate to have been different. So that you could just grow at the same rate everyone else does. It's not unreasonable to ask... it's not your fault.... The world's unfair. You want it so much... but the world itself wasn't refined enough to give you that same chance....
It isn't fair.... You should be able to.... You should be able to have whatever you want, Roxis-sama....
I want to be better than this. I've put in so much effort... I want to see the results of my effort. I don't think it's too much to ask, when everyone else has it. I don't think I'm being impatient when I've done so much and waited so long. I've given my life for this. When do I finally get to see?
Everyone else... Everyone's talking about graduating in this blaze of transcendence, and I don't want to be the only one who's not feeling it. Just walking out the door like normal, like always, trying not to drag everyone else down with my feeling sorry for myself because I don't get to have this incredible experience that everyone else is having-- that I've always wanted...
I don't want that to have to be what happens to you, either.... I know you won't be happy. You could stay another year, but I know having to do that would upset you just as much.
And... and it's not just like it's something petty you want. It's not like you just want something that will make you look good, something that'll impress people.... You want it because people need it... because everyone needs it... because it's this vital part of life that we're all striving for, and you see enough to see that clearly.... I can't try and convince you you don't need it just to make you feel better....
You need this, and you tried, and you still don't have it.... That's not your fault.... It's just not right....
It's all I've ever wanted, truly. It's all I've ever needed. Everything else is something I wanted because it would lead me there. And yes, I am impatient! Because I tried to be patient, and I'm tired of having to be more patient than everyone else, all the time. It's trying. It's hard.
And maybe alchemy is supposed to be a trial, maybe it's supposed to be hard, but when do I get there? When can I finally, finally get there... It hurts to see everyone else doing it when I'm not... I'm a broken, incomplete, messed-up person who just isn't capable of getting there at the end of a course of study that's meant to get me there and that's gotten everyone else there
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Comments 7
It would be nice if I could convince you... if I could say something that would just make you stop thinking this way. Even if you're growing more slowly than the others, you are growing, and you can make it....
But that's not what you want, is it.... You just want your fate to have been different. So that you could just grow at the same rate everyone else does. It's not unreasonable to ask... it's not your fault.... The world's unfair. You want it so much... but the world itself wasn't refined enough to give you that same chance....
It isn't fair.... You should be able to.... You should be able to have whatever you want, Roxis-sama....
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Everyone else... Everyone's talking about graduating in this blaze of transcendence, and I don't want to be the only one who's not feeling it. Just walking out the door like normal, like always, trying not to drag everyone else down with my feeling sorry for myself because I don't get to have this incredible experience that everyone else is having-- that I've always wanted...
Reply
And... and it's not just like it's something petty you want. It's not like you just want something that will make you look good, something that'll impress people.... You want it because people need it... because everyone needs it... because it's this vital part of life that we're all striving for, and you see enough to see that clearly.... I can't try and convince you you don't need it just to make you feel better....
You need this, and you tried, and you still don't have it.... That's not your fault.... It's just not right....
Reply
And maybe alchemy is supposed to be a trial, maybe it's supposed to be hard, but when do I get there? When can I finally, finally get there... It hurts to see everyone else doing it when I'm not... I'm a broken, incomplete, messed-up person who just isn't capable of getting there at the end of a course of study that's meant to get me there and that's gotten everyone else there ( ... )
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