My daughter, Penelope Violet Elena, was born a little over three weeks ago, January 7th, 2009, 12:57pm in an operating room at the hospital, six weeks early. The story of her birth (which I do not have the energy or stability to tell right now) is full of dips, ladders, bridges, like a child's board game but full of guts & horror. But she is ( Read more... )

hi, it's been a while.
catch me on the radio today from 11am-1pm est or wednesday, the 15th, from 12-2pm est at 88.7fm for locals, wxdu.org for not-locals.
xo

Four days ago I was doing so much better, now I'm laying in bed wondering if I will be able to get up to pick Rob up from work.

I am lost. What have I done?

All the rowboats untied from all the lake-side docks, lined up in a straight line over the earth pointed right at me.... I feel as if I'll never re-find the truth.

what it is ( Read more... )

if you had a friend who was a hard drinking, chain-smoking party-oriented thing whose 30th birthday were coming up this thursday, the party scheduled for this saturday ( Read more... )

i guess i have this to say to everyone who is disappointed:

if you're going to cross me off -- just go ahead and do it. i deserve it. i know that. i'm not even pretending to be better than i am. i am just trying to do *one thing* that i think i can do without fucking up. maybe you understand.

i'm awful, i know it, so do you.

so just say it.

i regret to inform you that i have my head severely up my own ass, making me not much of anything to anyone who doesn't live in my house (and therefore can't see me in gaps between the sick-depressive-naps ( Read more... )

( try and imagine someone speaking in a slow, angry, sarcastic tone of voice in a sing-song, monotonous, endless fashion. the bolded words are laced with venom and lots of spit. )

So I use a Macbook circa 2006 that has happily run both safari and firefox until recently. Slowly at first and now more frequently I got/get what my husband calls "The spinning death rainbow" whenever visiting websites that are high-traffic or high-data transfer -- in other words, not just a static sheet of html. If something has embedded video ( Read more... )

I am doing trivial things on youtube, things I tried to type but ended up being too ashamed of and deleting and putting this sentence fragment in their place ( Read more... )