is this right or am i mistaking comfort for my goal? goal 1 a : the terminal point of a race.

who is this?

today was a sick ass day. i hung out with my family for a good part of the day then took my mom and sister to the city to drop off one of my bikes to my cousins. i didnt swap him for his fixie because he didnt think i was ready for it even though i am and because i need a smaller frame. it was a fun drive because i hadnt been on those roads during ( Read more... )

 fuck

i get so scared when something goes wrong with my body. my jaws been hurting on and off and i think i fucked up some frayed nerves. i love medicines and i'm going to make them when i get done with school. melissa said that i always tell people that they can do whatever theyre trying to and i've been laughing about it all day because it's true and i ( Read more... )

my dad isnt here. last night i drove around newark and found some weird ass roads. some were scary because they just kept going towards the bay, the road surrounded by empty ass parking lots and unfinished buildings. seeing newark memorials track and tennis courts were pretty sick because me and ben used to jump the fence to run on their track and ( Read more... )

tonight was pretty cool. we did it pretty loud in rape tunnel. yeahhhhh thats how it always it now that i think about it. a circle. a few nights ago we were up till 6 which was cool. i thought id mention it. i feel bad that i'll be flaking out on ashu for like the 6th time but i'm over getting fucked up. i want to hang out with him and his friends ( Read more... )

i have a lot to say but i think all i want to write about is how tight my lab partner is. i dont want to live in the same room next year i'm tired of familiarity. i dont really think my car or driving is a solution anymore because i dont want my car in santa cruz. i'm over that shit. it's a hella windy and cold night it's hella fun. i can't wait to ( Read more... )

it's so easy to live life without asking questions about time, memories and what all that shit really is

i dont want to go home and i dont want to be in santa cruz. ive always been able to get over shit and get by by just pushing things out of my mind and cutting people out of  my life. but this time i cant because it means a lot to me and always will. it's more than just acceptance because i can do that. i can accept that im not about to be cool with ( Read more... )