i haven't written in here in forever, but i need to get this out somwhere.

i've never been good at dealing with change. probably because it's something i can't control. life is constantly changing, and there is no way to stop it. change always seems extra worse to me though, because i feel like EVERYTHING changes at once. so it's a ton of things i ( Read more... )

put an X next to all of the following that you have done today:

went to camden way too early before the parking lots opened
hung out in a camden cvs parking lot
hung out in a camden mcdonald's
watched a 21 year old dude hook up with a 14 year old
used the nastiest bathroom in your entire life because there was no other option
got ( Read more... )

get out of my head please.  you're pretty much making me miserable, and you don't even know it.  i either want to pretend we never broke up, or pretend i never met you.  unfortunately, the second option is the most likely and the hardest to accomplish.  fuck.

maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy... maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.  maybe the happy ending is just moving on.  or maybe the happy ending is this-- knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread ( Read more... )

i realized i am terrified of being alone.  this is why i stay in bad relationships.  this is why i am so upset over relationships ending, even if the guy is a total asshole.  this is why i torture myself by trying to stay friends with the assholes.  this is why i do the easy, comfortable thing, and get back with exes.  i really need to stop being ( Read more... )

just so you know, i am really fucking angry.  you are a JACKASS.  your reasoning is stupid, and i hate that you like to take the easy road all the time.  so, fuck you.  i've been through this enough times, and i finally realize this time that it's YOUR LOSS, not mine.  i was totally fine with how chill things were.  i never really got upset at you ( Read more... )

i can't believe christmas is over already.  its scary how fast time goes by ( Read more... )

ever since.... well, ever since i got to school i've been looking forward to winter break.  i actually like living at udel this year more than any other year so far, probably because i'm not living with a psycho or going through major life-altering events.  but i always love being home more.  i love spending time with my family, sleeping in my own ( Read more... )

wow.  remind me to never look over old journal entries ever, ever, ever again.  i was so fucking STUPID in high school!  i was a total asshole.  not all the time, but certain things definitely could've been handled better by everyone, including myself.  and who the hell knows why i wrote some of the things i did in my livejournal.  those things ( Read more... )

what a freaking historic night.  i voted for obama, but i'm not a huuuuuuge fan or anything.  but i wanted to cry during his speech.  even during mccain's speech, i wanted to cry.  our country has come so far.  i don't think anyone should have voted based on race, but i'm hoping obama was elected DESPITE his race.  i'm hoping america is moving ( Read more... )