Comments | suffolkgirl: BSG fic - Picking up the Pieces 5 / 12

suffolkgirl

BSG fic - Picking up the Pieces 5 / 12

Dec 05, 2006 18:30

Chapter Five

Kara spent her first week on Pegasus doing exactly what Lee had asked. She kept her head down, stayed away from him as much as possible, and conducted herself professionally at all times.

Her reports were presented on time, she never spoke out of turn at meetings. There were no reports of arguments with pilots or the deck crew.
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bsg fic - picking up the pieces

Comments 21

boutondor December 5 2006, 18:57:42 UTC

I've just started reading this and I love it! I can't wait for th next installment. Don't wait too long please. Each part is better that the previous one :)

suffolkgirl December 5 2006, 19:58:38 UTC

Wow, thank you! Though I'm feeling pressurised by that last sentence :)

ez_as_pi December 5 2006, 19:33:10 UTC

(i'm crying) well done... Showboat gets a high five....

suffolkgirl December 5 2006, 20:01:17 UTC

Yeah, Showboat's very brave to get between Lee and Kara...

The next chapter is much happier, I promise!

tracyj23 December 5 2006, 20:17:27 UTC

So now I've had a chance to catch up. What a brutal chapter - but so realistic. This is trademark Kara and Lee - never finding out, always assuming ... being angry without cause. Go figure ... you wrote it really well - I could picture the looks on their faces as I read, and you described them to a 't'.

Loved it! I'm really looking forward to the rest of this story. I'm liking the angst (of course) but looking forward to the happy as well. :)

suffolkgirl December 5 2006, 20:31:48 UTC

Thanks, glad you liked it. They do tend to jump to conclusions, don't they?

Things will start to lighten up a bit in the next chapter (though we're not out of the angst woods quite yet :)

jatnj December 5 2006, 23:28:24 UTC

Aww. Lee's icy heart melted just a little bit. It's nice to see he still has his soft side. =)

ammonite7 December 6 2006, 00:35:54 UTC

Great and spot on with the characters as usual.

Your writing is so perfect with grammar, etc. that I am going to suggest something I learned a couple days ago, only because I can see you are concerned with making everything absolutely correct. In dialogue, interruptions are indicated by the use of two dashes, not just one. No space before or after, just as you have done it. Just one looks too much like a hyphen dangling out there, I guess. As you probably know, elipses are for pauses, and there are spaces between each period. I'm constantly reading up on this stuff, and probably drive some people crazy. Not you though; I hope!

suffolkgirl December 6 2006, 18:37:21 UTC

Thanks for the grammar information, I wasn't taught it formally at school (wasn't trendy in the 80s!) so picked it up myself from reading a lot.

So that means I don't know what elipses are - from the context you use are they ... ? Because a period is a full stop isn't it?

Some grammar mistakes just drive me crazy though. Particularly apostrophes with plurals - someone did a notice at work saying 'Magazine's for sale' which I had to make them change :)

ammonite7 December 8 2006, 18:48:57 UTC

Correcto. I know what you mean about mixing plurals with possessives - only one of the errors that drives me nuts. It's so sad. Our school systems are such a mess. It's mainly the bureaucracy, not the teachers, I believe.