I never felt this alone and alienated in my life. It's a terrible feeling. There's no one to talk to. No one that cares anymore...and I don't blame them. I know I need to help myself, but I don't even want to leave my bedroom anymore. At the same time I'm tired of hearing people that are supposed to be my family scream and say such horrible things ( Read more... )

Hello journaly type thing. Time to vaguely vent out my business on the interweb. Muffiiins!!! I dunno, just felt like being random ( Read more... )

I wake up in the morning wondering if anything will be different. Will I get any surprises along the way? Will I make a new friend? My cheeks haven't been dry in a long, long time. I cry like a baby ( Read more... )

I hate that fact that I'm incapable of trusting you. The things I do and think just make me look like an idiot in the end. I know I have to learn how to not take things out on you. Learn to trust you. Maybe I'm really afraid of being happy. My paranoia gets the best of me and everyone around me. I really hate being like this ( Read more... )

Trigger FingerI was locked in the grips of memories ( Read more... )

Good Evening, Journal-o-mine. It has been about...four months since I wrote in this thing but I feel like writing...so what the hell. Maybe I'll try to be more consistent with my entries, but alas I'm a journaling whore and I prefer physically writing in a notebook ( Read more... )

So it's been a while since I updated this thing. I'm sure no one reads it anyway. But let's be honest, the soul purpose of having an online journal is hoping that that someone will read it ( Read more... )

I haven't updated this thing in a while. I guess cause I use the myspace blog more often now. I guess this one is for more of my "privater" public thoughts. Privater...I love making up words. I should be sleeping now, but sleep doesn't come easy when you're on such a fucked up sleep schedule as I. I'll regret it in the morning ( Read more... )

Ugh...I honestly think someone put a hex on me. No matter how I treat people or how generous I am with my possessions, it never comes back to me. Karma's a bitch but nobody told me she's a no show. It's like it's a never ending disappointment in relationships, money, and life in general. I mean we all have our ups and downs, but damn bad luck is ( Read more... )

I haven't cried in a while until now. It's like when I finally convince myself I'm over you, my mind won't fully let go. And I smile, and I act like you're the last thing on my mind, even try to get interested in another guy but I can't. I don't even want to picture it. It just doesn't feel right. I think I rather be alone than be with anyone else ( Read more... )