full force depression....not doing well at all. Haven't felt this horrible in years.

I hate this

I have tried everything everyone has suggested to get over this heartache. I am going out, I am talking to a shrink, I have found new activites, yet I still have my moments when BAM I miss Jesse, and it breaks my heart to think of him giving someone else the love and affection he used to give me :( My heartaches for him to at least show me some ( Read more... )

I can't believe how much better it made me to tell Jesse off in that email, I don't even care if he has read it or not. It just made me feel better, and I have since blocked him from all of my aim accounts. I hope he is happy, he really suceeded in making me hate him :) That is what he longed for, and he got his wish. I just can't believe what ( Read more... )

Well, today is my 28th birthday, god just looking at that makes me feel old. For some odd reason I thought I would feel like a grown up when I reached this age, yet I still feel like I am 16. Someone called me ma'am on the phone today and it was like a knife to the heart. I wish I could say that it doesn't faze me to get older, but it does. I ( Read more... )

Lately I have like everyone puts there needs and desires above mine. I know that is not the case actually but that is how I have been feeling. I feel like I am the one who has to accommodate everyone else, I need to bend so that others don't break. My mom has these crazy whims sometimes, she really wanted to go to this Disney Outlet store, I was ( Read more... )

Feeling a little sicky today :( I woke up like 15 times during the middle of the night my throat was all scratchy and hurt, hates when that happens poopy ( Read more... )

Got back from Mammoth last night.....it was an incredible trip. SOOOO much fun, despite hurting my knee which is still throbbing but oh well, I had fun snowboarding, the little that I got to do. I might stick to skiing next time, but I do want to learn to snowboard at somepoint, perhaps a different instructor would be a good idea ( Read more... )

okay so at 12:30 tonight Jesse comes over after his movie with Kim. He doesn't understand why I am so hurt or angry about him going with Kim. I try to explain it to him but he fails to grasp my point, or I just fail at making my point, either way there is no resolution to the disagreement. And then to add insult to injury I had to recievce and ( Read more... )

Okay so I haven't posted in a while, mostly because my life has been hectic and busy but I am feeling like doo doo tonight. I have been feeling sick all day. I threw up earlier, which I absolutely hate ( Read more... )

I haven't written in here in a while, I know that really doesn't make a difference..... oh well here goes. An update ( Read more... )