so i was looking at the beautiful changing leaves the other day and just thinking how nice it is when things changed color once in a while. all those vibrant colored leaves falling from the trees to the ground. makes life really worth living sometimes you know? kudos to god on that one. and then i got to thinking, what if other things changed ( Read more... )

i swear to god there's some sort of poltergeist that locks on to drunk people and makes their immediate physical surroundings just fall apart. or maybe it's just me. like, it's understandable that you get a little tipsy and knock over a cup by accident, or you're leaning against a counter and you unintentionally make a few papers fall off. and ( Read more... )

once in a while you just hear people pull these bs lines out of their ass cuz they're either stupid and can't think of anything else to say, or their logic lies about par with a sponge ( Read more... )

why does every other business these days seem to need you to join their special bonus savings club to be able to buy anything from them without charging you butt-raping costs? you walk into the local 'food for family' grocery store that's been up and running since god was still a kid and you try to buy A BANANA and they're like, 'do you have our ( Read more... )

i know it's a plot necessity to place a supreme evil being into an epic movie or video game (uhhhh, religion comes to mind, for that matter) that's determined to bring about an age of darkness through means of death and destruction, and that's cool and all cuz it makes for some kick ass fighting scenes, but what i've always wondered is, say the ( Read more... )

i'm just gonna delve right into this one. the thing that cracks me up about soccer is, it takes like 12 years of dedicated playing before someone looks like they don't have down-syndrome while they kick a ball. and then, people still toe-jam it half the time. that would be the equivalent of a boxer saying, 'ok, i know i got these gloves on, but ( Read more... )

some people try and sound all inspiring and sometimes i just wanna tell them to shut the f up. they think they can unlock the meaning of everything in one quote. this is to all those f heads that are lucky they didn't open their mouths while i was within hearing distance ( Read more... )

so there's this 340 million dollar lottery going on for powerball in minnesota and i bought a ticket for a buck. now, here's the thing about lotteries. you know you're not gonna win, but then, you just start thinking, what if? and eventually your brain sort of switches things around and you almost half expect to win. i used to see all those ( Read more... )

so i was talking to carl the other day and he was like, 'how's life these days?' and i said, 'you know what, i really haven't seen him for a while. last i heard, he had knocked up some chick, but then she lost it due to complications and drugs maybe. yeah, life...hope he's hanging in there...remember that one time he gave bob some lemons, and ( Read more... )

anyone who proclaims that capitalism is the best way a society can run is sorely mistaken. i've come to this conclusion from personal experience. last week, i saw some kids with a lemonade stand selling from the sidewalk for a quarter a pop. people were lining up to pay for some lemonade. inspired, i thought to myself, 'hell, if those little ( Read more... )