excuse me for being obsessive emotional and easily attached. but i have fallen in love. im only half joking. i have fallen in love with someone i dont know, but i want to know. so badly. im dreaming. i noticed him and i like to think he noticed me too.

it's so weird being eighteen. well, not really, but with my parents it is. i can do anything i want. they dont ask me any questions. they dont care how late im out or what random house i end up sleeping at. the other night my friend and i had a silly little situation with a certain fire alarm going off at 1am in my house after we had smoked... and ( Read more... )

im taking this course called psych of identity and so far its been pretty easy. alright, talk about yourself, where you came from, how that makes you feel and you get by. but now we're seriously analyzing ourselves. and it is scary. writing a 10 page paper on your insecurities and where you think they stem from in your life and how they affect the ( Read more... )

so i havent cried in a really long time. like the type of crying where your sadness comes from the bottom of your stomach and hurts your heart when it comes out. ive been feeling pretty off-balanced lately. i feel like so many things are changing around me and im just standing still trying to make sense of everything. growing apart from one of my ( Read more... )

ive got strange eating habits. i stay up til about 2 every night by myself. i dont eat much of anything during the day, but at night... i feel the need to eat unhealthy goodies. i hate this. i just had deja vu. also, at night... i crave someone. i crave an adventurous relationship with a man. ha! im totally seriously. ive got this feeling in my gut ( Read more... )

im in one of those places where all i want is some good music with lyrics that puts into words whats floating around my mind. i miss living at camp so bad. only twenty minutes away, but its a completely different world. a world where you walk out of your room and you see atLEAST 20 people sitting in a circle of mismatch couches underneath a layer ( Read more... )

so... its an interesting feeling when one realizes life goes on without them. i see pictures of that old santa rosa bunch that i hate so much, and yes, you still do the same things and still take the same pictures. i hear about my best friends going about their ways, my space in their life inching away every week. its a strange feeling when one ( Read more... )

last week, no not this past week but the week before... i was counseling wee ones, like 1st-3rd graders, in a camp that revolves around the magical idea that we're in a jungle. the whole camp takes place up a very large mountain where there are tents and tree houses and a huge "cargo net" that hangs over a creek. portapotties, no mirrors, only ( Read more... )

i am in a place where i feel done with school. taking the counseling 370 course at the jc and taking placement tests has wiped me out. it makes me want to take a semester off, maybe even a year. i really feel like i need a change in my surroundings. i guess thats what im doing by moving out to occidental for the summer. so much was holding me in ( Read more... )

1. i am really sick of the computer. im really sick of feeling the need to check my myspace. being outside and away from everything that was in my "norm" has put me in this place where whenever i am outside by myself, or with lovely people, i am happy. completely happy. it makes me more happy to ride my bike around town and smile at everyone i see ( Read more... )