I lie in my bed at my apartment on my back with tears streaming into my ears repeatedly playing Bradford's Skin Storm. I
miss you Carly....

I just have certain days where I'm so depressed and miserable I have to just let the tears roll and cry my fucking eyes out. I couldn't handle it anymore at work so as always I play seasick yet still docked while I cry it out or know I need to. That song is a crescendo for me for crying. It basically builds up in the song and by the time morrissey ( Read more... )

So tired of crying, I hate this feeling of constant loneliness and being felt unloved. Rainy cold days makes me think of you more. I'm glad we haven't ran into each other I'd probably die on spot or immediately begin crying. It's almost been a year since we spoke and I still think about you whether it be sharing laughs on the couch or just ( Read more... )

Couldn't sleep for shit last night. Seasick yet still docked on replay while streams of tears run down into my ears due to laying in my bed in constant sadness. Fuck life.

You are going to have a baby boy but with me It would have been a baby girl named Ava Rose. Sigh I miss you baby pushpop.

Had a weird dream I was hanging with Carly's dad, we went hunting and drove around orange in his blue corvette. I remember telling him I was happy he was my son's grandpa and that I loved when Carly would tell me all the stories about you meeting famous people like jack nicholson and tex Cobb, how you owned a bar and all the bad ass muscle cars you ( Read more... )

Insert morrissey song

Applied for a new job and didn't get it. Life sucks right now. I might still be able to get in the motorcycle club because I've been talking to the president daily and he wants me in the southside chapter but who knows with my recent arrest and further debt it's putting me in. I love that it's getting colder now because that means hoodie weather is ( Read more... )

Like hanging out with Carly and stuff. Doing things sexually, her telling me she didn't even want Billy anymore but just wanted to keep her son. It was all fucked up because I woke up immediately thinking it was true and then realizing, yeah fucking right. Wow what the fuck, why would I even dream about her, I've stopped thinking about her a while ( Read more... )

Courtney Love forever when I'm in pain....