when i was seventeen i asserted that my life plan was 'to be fabulous'. among other things- solving humanitarian crises, learning as many languages as i can, remaining cheerful and empathetic, balancing my creative and academic sides and so on- it is still to this that i aspire. and at the last two big parties i have been to- new years' and last ( Read more... )

"When you look at the audience numbers for TV and then add up the incarcerated felons, Alzheimer's patients and confirmed barflies in America, it dawns on you who is watching TV these days- people unable to lead normal productive lives- and yet they give out awards for this stuff and the hosts of shows are drive to and fro in Lincoln Town Cars and ( Read more... )

there is too much to tell; my thoughts are a tangled ball of confused threads that threaten to infect this entry with their disorder. if i manage to describe everything that has happened, both in the material world and in the flashes of my synapses, then i doubt any one will read it all. so in short, for those with restricted time/attention spans ( Read more... )

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before ( Read more... )

i join the ranks of fellow live journalers in prematurely attempting to give up tobacco (or, perhaps, more accurately, nicotine as it's that that hammers through our veins for that delicious and occasional relief) before the new year. specifically, before my maternal and sister unit crash down into narita airport and i have to spend ten days in ( Read more... )

dear all ( Read more... )

the long cycle ride home was enough to erase the fire in my belly this evening after seeing 'war dance', a film about refugees in north uganda. i don't know whether it's been shown in england or not, but i advise you to see it. it follows a group of school children competing in a national dance/music competition, who live in a refugee camp called ' ( Read more... )

in case anyone was following my progress with baited breath, you can all breathe a sigh of collective relief. i am better. i feel myself again. i am able to feel caffeine coursing through my veins like real energy again, i have regained my appetite, my body is no longer convulsed with foreign, ugly elements of pain and worry. last week i think my ( Read more... )

chiropractic/shiatsu massage on tuesday; £50
doctor's appointment and physio; £70
hospital appointment, blood tests and antibiotics; £112

being correctly diagnosed and having your mind put at rest; priceless.so i do have a kidney infection and inflammation, thank GOD. everything finally adds up. and as i giggled to my sister, this is even better ( Read more... )

the home hypochrondriac thinks she has figured out why a) the pain is getting worse and tends to stab and radiate through my whole body from my lower back, rather than being merely superficial, b) why it makes her uber-nauseous, c) why no one believes you can be that bad with back pain, d) why i feel dizzy and feverish, e).......a million things ( Read more... )