my mother called me, unfortunately, right in the middle of a hysterical crying fit, brought on by lack of painkillers and sitting still too long teaching english. i don't know how i got home or didn't break down in the street when i wondered if my body would get me home, as i could barely walk or cycle. and here was me battling through, thinking i ( Read more... )

i went for a chiropractic/pressure point massage this morning to sort me out. i am sceptical of going to a hospital or doctor for several reasons; although they might identify the problem, they don't usually administer treatment themselves, and so after a lengthy wait and a costly examination, they pack you off to other specialists later. i don't ( Read more... )

today was a low. i went into work- i really dislike taking time off, and was fully aware that teaching three days these week means i'd have to ask for more time off from the UN than normal- but felt as if all the energy and spirit had been sucked out of me. i sat at my desk and felt unable to speak, and my back spasms started worsening. i sat ( Read more... )

so after a few requests, here is my address ( Read more... )

after the crest of every wave i ride, there is a shattering break-down. i've come down with a mild form of (this is for you, astrid) Charlie-Yankee-Sierra-Tango-India-Tango-India-Sierra, and lacking any kind of formal status in japan [waiting on the 'certificate of eligibility' which is necessary for a working visa, still considered a tourist, ( Read more... )

Today I joined the Public Information/External Relations unit in the UNHCR, away from admin and the much-hated spreadsheets, mathematics and mind-numbingly narrow focus of budgets and logistics. There will no doubt be some of that in my new role, but also far more attending meetings, taking minutes, reading the newspapers (in both Japanese and ( Read more... )

something about being kissed deeply on several street corners under the atmospheric illuminations of streetlights, being a bad gaijin to be so public with one's affection, makes one's body tingle in unknown ways for the next forty hours, the wind striking somehow stronger against one's skin, making one feel hyper and tingly for the first time in so ( Read more... )

i don't know if it happens to everyone, but when i listen to certain songs, i get a flashback of the time i took mdma and leapt up and down in a field in turin, my head feeling like a kaleidoscope filled with lurex and hi-octane petrol, my tongue covered in the accidentally-leaked contents of a glow stick necklace and practically swallowing my own ( Read more... )

the title, to western ears, often sounds like an insult or something to be disparaged. to be 'contentless' is to be vacuous, shallow, the aesthetic equivalent of a big-titted blonde. yet, japanese culture and mentality often follows this dictum, and ends up all the more unique and fascinating for it. you just have to accept that they begin from a ( Read more... )

this time it's not a sense of guilt or obligation to my readers that drives me to write; rather a growing sense of self-disgust spawning from my current complacency regarding writing, analysis, recording. for some reason the idea of WorkingAtTheUN(TM) seemed worthy enough for me to drop everything else and feel somehow justified in a singular focus ( Read more... )