I'm in a funk still/again. I'm borderline jealous of all of the cute couples I see. It's getting to the point where I want to cry whenever I see happy couples. And babies. The babies and happy families make it even worse. I feel a longing to have some kind of happiness like that. I want to be loved and stuff. I mean I know friends love me and ( Read more... )

I'm hurting something awful right now. I don't even know what is going on. Sometimes I wish I were a boy. I'm hateful and grouchy and such. No one responded to my plea for help on my project, which pisses me off totally.I need help, everyone that knows me knows that I hate asking for it and when I do it's a huge deal. And it means I'm desperate. I' ( Read more... )

You know that funky feeling I had earlier? It's descended on me now, a full depression. I don't know. Slow week or something, winter blahness, maybe my period's trying to start. I don't know I just feel kind of invisible right now. I know people out there care and such and so forth. I just have to vent, and this being a journal I do a lot of it. ( Read more... )

Man, I have this weird assed feeling right now. *sighs* Don't know. Maybe I just need a nap. My sleeping pattern has become a little more regular which means I can get as much as 8 or 9 hours a night now instead of sleeping in shifts. I'm worried that my usual insomnia is creeping in again though because the night before last I ended up going to ( Read more... )

Yeah, I need you guys to read this thing and send me comments/questions to help make it clear what I should do with my life ( Read more... )

It's now about 4 minutes til 6 in the morning. Yeah I know that normal people don't realize that there is such a time. I woke up from a really odd dream and my stomach decided that in order to go back to sleep it must be fed. I don't like this idea very much but it insisted for 20 minutes so I finally got up. I've been thinking about a lot of ( Read more... )

You know It's really weird how my mind works. I don't get intense crushes very often. I can count them one hand the ones I've had in life. I mean crushes I've had a lot but the ones that feel so deep are ones that I've only had about 5 ( Read more... )

Wow, I just realized how far I've come since my last uber serious relationship. I mean since Daniel it's pretty much been rebounds I think. I mean how could it be any less when I truly loved him with all my heart and soul and was ready to marry him. I see now, of course, that it was too intense to be a good thing ( Read more... )

Yeah, it is cute. The guy I like saw me followed me up the stairs to class and moved his place from all the way across the room to sit by me. Seems a big step to me. He talked and smiled a lot and even walked me out. *grins* I know school girlish much? He's adorable though, and I think he's at least interested in being friends which is what I need ( Read more... )

Ok, I go to class last night and I have to give this oral presentation of my final project idea. My idea is good, my questions are good. The print out is good, but when I get up there to talk about it I go totally duhhhhh. I was the uber spaz. People were trying to make me feel better about it but I know I clammed up big time. I don't know why. ( Read more... )